“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

Again, I have nothing.

This team man… they just provide all the feels that were missing during the 2018 season and perhaps longer.

Every time they take the field, they make a case for UofL not to pay Bob one penny of that $14 million. A coherent, experienced coaching staff that actually helps the team get better, imagine that.

My apologies for this week’s recap being so late. I was exploring Southern California with Mrs. BHK for her birthday, and that is one of the few things BucketHatism will wait for.

To the notes!!!!!!


I think I am going to retire the bailiff until further notice. After going 2-10 last season I can’t find one good reason we should have an outburst in the courtroom with the way the Cards have played the last two weeks. Besides, what good is having a bailiff if he or she is hungover?

  • Evan Conley is already approaching legendary status, and we haven’t even played a full season. All he does is come in as a relief quarterback and win the damn game for you. WKU – comes in late and throws a bomb to Tutu Atwell to seal the game. Boston College – comes in late and leads the Cards on the game-winning drive. Wake – 4th and 1 and takes off for a 41-yard scamper for a score. Dave and I have tried to tell you all for weeks, we got a problem on our hands man. Conley reminds me a lot of Stefan Lefors. That is a good thing.
  • Love Micale Cunningham to death, but I don’t want to keep seeing him heading to the medical tent every game. Micale has been beaten up the last few games and forced to leave the game early. Out of the six games the Cards have played, Cunningham has been injured in four of them. We can make if five if we are counting the end of the FSU game where he was injured on the last play. Stay healthy Micale. We still have a ways to go.
  • Took a while, but the A.F.R.O.S. are back. I was upset by the lack of involvement from Dez and Seth earlier in the season, but now those guys can’t stop catching touchdowns. We went from Tutu being our only receiver open on the field to guys being open all over the field. What I love about this new offense is if you have a weakness they are going to exploit the hell out of it. Boston College and Wake each had suspect secondaries, and Dwayne Ledford worked hard to torch them both.
  • Good to see Keion Wakefield finally getting a shot on the field. I hope to see more of him going forward. Wakefield reminds me of Doug Beaumont, meaning he is a guy the fanbase was excited about, but we are just now seeing him in action due to unforeseen circumstances.
  • I am extremely happy that we ended our losing streak to Wake a week after we ended our losing streak to BC. I don’t care how improved they are, it will never be acceptable losing to a school who’s mascot looks like he escaped from a Wes Craven film. Plus Dave Clawson and Wake rode the Matt Colburn/Wakeyleaks story into the North Carolina ground. This was an unexpected rivalry, but after Tim Duncan walked, I should have seen it coming.
  • A week ago, I asked the special teams to stop committing dumb penalties that negate big plays. It is safe to say they heard me. Hassan Hall and Tutu are still getting chunks of return yards, and the game has been over for days. We, uh, we have those guys for at least another year or two. (Giggles with excitement)

  • I am not upset with the defensive execution late in games. Yes, the wide open guys in each of our games this season has driven all of us crazy, but when you have a tired defense that has depth issues, you really can’t expect them to compete at a high level for 60 minutes. I think had that game gone to OT, Louisville loses. As we have said before, Louisville may not have the depth they really need until Satterfield’s third season here. Right now, the numbers just aren’t there.
  • I need footage of the Louisville coaches beating the hell out of each other played before every home game. That is your intro video. There is literally nothing else you need to do.
  • We all need more of Seth Dawkins “staring down a defender and then casually crossing the goal line and lying the ball down” celebration in our lives.
  • Kudos to the Band of Brothers. The Louisville offensive line allowed only one sack against a good Wake defensive line.
  • No one on defense has benefited more from this coaching change than Rodjay Burns. Burns is killing it on defense and then doing damage returning punts.
  • I have seen it a few times, and I still think Micale Cunningham was down by contact before fumbling the ball. It could just be my red tinted glasses and the fact I don’t want Wake to succeed in anything.
  • Wake receivers pushed off on nearly every play, and I don’t think the commentators mentioned it once during their broadcast on Saturday. There is a clear difference between being a great receiver and pushing a guy to Durham, NC.
  • Speaking of the commentary on Saturday, maybe try not to openly root for the home team during the game fellas. You are supposed to be unbiased, not sound like a bunch of N’Sync groupies.
  • Let me go ahead and get to the mailbag before this column is under review.


The courtroom will now be open for questions as well as any statements:

Corito (@OyyeeCorito86): Should we switch up QBs during the game or stick to one solid option?

Stick to one solid option. It is obvious that Micale is our starting QB now, but that job can easily go to Evan Conley, who has done nothing but prove he can lead the offense down the field when needed. To me, the offense moves even better when Conley is under center. That is just my opinion. Whoever trots out there from here until the end of the season, I am comfortable with.

J’Aunna (@j_truebeauty): How about that Pancake from Conley ? Also, who knew he had burners? (4th & 1 , 41 yard rushing TD).

Dude. Conley is becoming a fan favorite, and his legend continues to grow each time he plays. I had no idea he had wheels either. If you are dual-threat QB, this is the offense you want to be in.

T (Very Bad) Luck (@JukeJointTony): Cali burrito preference – fries/no fries? I have a friend that exclusively orders w/o, which makes zero sense to me.

What is a Cali burrito without fries? Turn your back on him, he is not your friend. Give me all of your carbs. ALL OF THEM.

Danimal (@Lord_Chewie) It’s been a few days since we beat a ranked team on the road, when is it acceptable to stop celebrating the win?

We won two games last year; celebrate as long as you need to bro!!

IRepLouisville24/7 (@repLouisville): Not sure if its me but shouldn’t the wings on the shoulders of the football Jersey’s be red? Don’t mind me, ill just leave the court room now.

Personally, I like the wings how they are but I could see red wings looking nice as well. But lets be honest, Louisville can go out there and play in a hospital gown, and we wouldn’t care as long as they win.

PAWWWWLLLLLL (@sleepycardfan): Been a while since I responded to one of these. How many games do you think we win out of the rest of the schedule?

Before the season, I said 5-7 would be the overall record. Right now, with six games left, aside from Clemson I think Louisville has a shot to get three or more wins out of these next 5 games. I am not sold on Syracuse or NC State. Miami will be tough but they are still struggling in a ton of areas.

Virginia is a toss-up, and that team down the road is dealing with injuries at the QB position. As long as the Cards stay focused, anything is possible. I don’t think they pull off a miracle against Clemson, but if they do, there will be no words to describe how intoxicated I will be.

JasonS (@JasonCardsFan): Should we expect a bowl game this season? 

You have six games and need to win two of them. At this point I am still cautious because anything can happen so for now, lets just ignore it until it happens, and then we can celebrate together. Sorry man – I am superstitious as hell.

Harrison Glauber (@jhglauber) Will Jawon Pass play another game as a Cardinal?

Ugh, man this is tough. With the way Micale is playing and the way Conley looks, and the fact that you have two highly touted QB’s enrolling in 2020 (Webb and Purdy), I would say the outlook for Jawon may be dim. Now, who’s to say that if healthy he wouldn’t be starting right now? Pass has two years of eligibility remaining and could possibly get a medical redshirt to play another one. That is literally six seasons of college football.

With his older brother Khane Pass already graduating, I can’t see Jawon sticking it out here at Louisville. He may opt to transfer and have a few years of eligibility to use at another school perhaps closer to home or in need of a QB. I think he will stay and compete but I wouldn’t be shocked to see him leave after the season for a fresh start elsewhere. We will have to wait and see.


Person(s) or things that earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • Evan “We Got A Problem Man” Conley
  • Hassan Hall
  • Dez 6-Patrick
  • Tutu Atwell
  • Seth Dawkins
  • Rodjay Burns
  • The clock hitting zero against Wake
  • Micale in a Card Chronicle Bird Mask. You won’t see anything better.
  • More interceptions
  • Dave Scull. Get well soon buddy.
  • California trips. I do them well.
  • Keith Poynter and Tom Farmer for filling in on the podcast this week.

Person(s) or things that must share a full-sized bed with the Wake Forest mascot who will be wearing the mascot head only:

  • Wake Forest football as a staff, football team, and as a crew.
  • My Fantasy Football team. We are 0-6.
  • Matt Colburn and Dave Clawson. Enjoy this loss.
  • LA traffic
  • Midway Airport in Chicago. There was a competition with the staff to see who could be a bigger douche.
  • Bobby and the old staff. I will leave them on this list to die.


And in closing:

  • Louisville is currently alone in second place of the ACC. Read that again after what you saw last year.
  • Regardless of the outcome on Saturday, enjoy hosting the #1 defending champs at your house. This is the first time we have hosted Clemson without there being a color theme attached to the game.
  • I really don’t like Wake Forest.
  • When the Cards win, they celebrate. And when they celebrate, we all win:

Be cool in this hot city

Court adjourned (bangs gavel)

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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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