“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

There is something about rain and Louisville that normally brings the best memories. Louisville may not win every game, but I am fairly certain that if the weather is going to be dreadful, the Cards will most likely come out victorious. I am beginning to look forward to grabbing my poncho.

Ok, that last blurb was a complete lie, and I am stopping myself right there. The hot poncho, the wind, the driving rain to end the game, they were all worth that feeling of knowing this team is one win away from playing 13 games this season.

Scott Satterfield is Coach of the Year – his only competition is Mack Brown, who is also spearheading a resurrection of sorts down in Chapel Hill. Still, after what we witnessed last season and the transformation we have been privy to see this season, I am not sure how they can give it to anyone else.

I say that, but watch them give it to Dabo just to save face. Anyway, who cares? The Cards keep winning.

To the notes!!!!


  • I am not the greatest at predictions as you all have come to notice over the past few seasons. I am either going to be way off or way way off. Last week I said that Evan Conley should start going forward. That proves that I am an idiot who should just shut up and and trust the process. Micale Cunningham is the Card’s best option to win going forward. End of discussion. Debate over. Drive home safely.
  • Louisville has now completed arguably the toughest stretch on their schedule, and they came out 3-1. The only loss came against the defending champs. And if we are being completely honest, the Cards are a few turnovers away from possibly being 7-1. Think about that: Louisville doesn’t fumble against Notre Dame or throw an interception against FSU in the red zone, and we may be looking at a nationally ranked team that lost 10 games last season.
  • Javian Hawkins has a chance to be really special. I distinctly remember being super concerned that he was named the starter over Hassan Hall back in August. As always, Kelly Dickey keeps us up to speed on records made and broken. Check this out:

He is on his way to being a first team All-ACC candidate or at least in the conversation. Between Hawkins and Tutu, I guess we’ve finally arrived in Speed City after taking a terrible detour.

  • It’s not often you see a goat on a football field, but this happened on Saturday:
  • Major, major props the the Cardinal defense. After having a month where they surrendered 39 points to a one dimensional Boston College team and then giving up 59 to Wake Forest, it was nice to see them finally clamp down and keep Virginia and Bryce Perkins in check for most of the game. Bryan Brown deserves a ton of credit. Perkins was the first true dual threat QB that the Cards had faced other than Ian Book and Anthony Brown. Perkins was hobbled by a leg injury so that helped slow him down. Aside from a late score, the UVA offense could do nothing in the second half.
  • Marlon Character and Monty Montgomery played like wild men on Saturday. Character was making his first start of the season, and Montgomery, a late addition to the 2019 recruiting class, has been quietly making plays all season. It goes to show what some of us have been saying all along: that there was talent on this team and they just needed a competent coaching staff to lead them.
  • Really hoping the bye week will help heal the team, most notably Cunningham and Blanton Creque. Creque was injured on a kickoff return, and that just blows. The kicker it normally an afterthought until you actually need a good one to make a clutch kick. Creque is said guy, and losing him would hurt.
  • A have a ton of gripes when it comes to UVA, one being that their mascot is a glorified pimp that they try to pass off as respectable.
Pimp’s Up. Hoos Down.

Sooooo, we’re just going to ignore the fact that their mascot is wearing Ugg boots and leggings?? I refuse to show respect to a mascot that dresses like he is headed to Starbucks for a triple pumpkin spice latte or whatever the basics drink these days.

  • I was a little worried about the Satterfield hire because I was used to a nice spread offense with an equally balanced running and passing attack. I was not really a fan of a run heavy offense mainly because I have been spoiled in recent years. But this offense is working and should only get better over the next few seasons.
  • The passing game took a step back on Saturday, but that was expected. Only an idiot coach would send his quarterback out in a driving rainstorm to try to complete passes. (In case you were wondering, our idiot coach did that last year. See Indiana State first half)
  • Evan Conley became the first UofL QB to get hit with the crown of two defender helmets on the same play and the ref not see a damn thing even after a long review. I didn’t know Cavalier translates to “Vontaze Burfict” in French.
  • Paul Rogers is our OG and should be treated as such!!!

Virginia fans catch a lot of heat for being huge dorks who are the sole reason that boat shoes and khakis shorts were created. Let me just say that all of that is true.

You know what really pisses me off about UVA fans beside the fact that they tuck their shirts into their boxers? They legit took “Auld Lang Syne” and made it their fight song. Every time they scored, I didn’t know if I should be upset or hug a random stranger to celebrate another year in the books.

There was an UVA fan seated behind me who looked exactly like Jeremy Jamm from Parks and Rec. He made it a point to let everyone know that he knew the lyrics to their fight song by singing it loud and off-key. He then felt compelled to let the fans know that about his experience with winning the national championship last season. How this guy gets out of bed without kicking his own ass, I will never know……

  • You know how we always joke that God blesses Clemson and no one else. Not sure that is a joke anymore.

At one point during the game the sky did this:

I can see clearly now the rain has fallen.

And then someone made an ill-timed Dabo reference and boom:

Well SH*T.
  • Live shot of the refs on Saturday.

I am not sure if Louisville is still in the midst of new member hazing, but we have been in the ACC for 5 years, and the calls have gotten worse every season. I have never seen refs decide to make up sh*t as they go, but here we are. C-USA, Big East, and AAC refs look to the ACC to find out how to be utterly useless and completely incompetent.

Talk about setting the bar for garbage calls. It could just be me, but it seems if there is some bullsh*t going down, Louisville is the team that is playing. We continue to be the only team that doesn’t get the benefit of a home whistle regardless of sport. I am sure we were penalized for the water being too warm at a swim meet.

Never in the history of ever have I ever (Dude, what the hell did I just type??) seen a ref ask for more time like we are behind on paying our light bill. I have also never seen a play from two years ago be reviewed to determine that 16 seconds needed to be added to the clock. I don’t know what in the hot hell is going on….. but stop it.

  • If you know for a fact that you will be unable to make the Syracuse game, and you are looking for a nice Cardinal home for your tickets to go to please shoot me a DM and we can make some arrangements. There is no reason for your tickets to be sitting on the coffee table and being used as a coaster for your beer when someone who may not get to attend games often can use them. If you dont want to DM, contact the local radio stations and ask about donating them. I can also point you in the direction of a few tailgate crews that would love to help you distribute them to fans.


The courtroom will now be open for statements:

Chrissy Banta (@Chrissy_Banta): I have a lot of feelings. Some good. Some bad.

Sounds like the opening to a fire country music song. We all need you to elaborate Chrissy.

Tanya Cowan (@CardsBballFan): I intend to walk around with a shit-eating grin on my face until we play again!

This is by far the most accurate post game tweet of the season. We felt good after the BC win. We were riding an emotional high after the Wake Forest shootout. But beating a decent UVA team at home in nasty weather conditions says a lot. Enjoy it, it was earned.


Person(s) or things that earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • Javian Hawkins. The young bull is eating.
  • Blanton Creque. What a great career, I am sorry it ended this way.
  • Marlon Character
  • CJ Avery
  • Micale Cunningham’s TD celebration. Ice in his veins.
  • Marshon Ford. Giving him a scholly in the summer was well worth it.
  • My poncho
  • Rain holding off for most of the game.
  • Lamar Jackson appearances.
  • Francisco Garcia, Angel, and Eric Wood going into the UofL HOF.
  • My fantasy team winning for the first time this season.
  • The black top/red pants/black shoes combo. I love it, and I hope we see more of it later. Forget a color scheme game; let’s just keep coming up with dope combos on gameday.

Person(s) or things that have to have a random referee from the ACC add more time on their shift on Friday:

  • ACC Refs
  • UVA fans in any fashion.
  • Diehards mad at other diehards and arguing about who is more of a diehard.
  • Drew Brees. You could have let Teddy play one more week before the bye.
  • Time clock operator on Saturday.
  • Ohio State in basketball scrimmages.
  • Francisco Garcia and Eric Wood not aging at all. Both still look like they just finished playing at UofL. My deceased hairline is jealous.
  • The old staff. That is how you win in the rain Bob.


And in closing

  • Louisville is one win away from a bowl. Louisville, the team that was an automatic win for 10 teams last season is 60 minutes from making hotel reservations for the team in December.
  • Louisville could finish 9-3. NINE AND THREE.
  • Unfortunately Saturday was my last home game of the season as I won’t be able to attend the Syracuse game due to a family function.
  • My tickets will go to a fellow Card fan. Just because I am not there doesn’t mean the tickets should go to waste.
  • No BucketHatism next week due to the BYE.
  • When the Cards win, they party. When they party, we ALL win.

I love this team.

Be cool in this hot city.

Court adjourned (bangs gavel)

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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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