“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

Fortunately the brass has allowed the courtroom to operate at 20% capacity. Unfortunately, that is still too many people for my comfort so I am still going to join this call remotely. Thanks to the bailiff for setting up the camera’s and speakers for the dozen or so people that are in attendance.

I took the last few weeks off to protect my mental health and not fall into a deep rabbit hole of anger and regret or what we like to call, the 2018 season. And it seems it did the trick because with a lot of patience, the 2020 Louisville Cards put together their most complete game of the season. A 32 point beatdown reminiscent of the 43 point stomping a few seasons ago with Lamar at the helm.

We have seen glimpses of how good this team can be, but only for a quarter or even a half. If the offense played great, the defense left a lot to be desired. If the defense played great, the offense was stuck in neutral. Finally, both were able to get on the same page, and while not perfect, it was needed. Not only for a team reeling from four straight frustrating losses, but for a fanbase who is covid fatigued and looking for anything to resemble a sense of normalcy.

Well done Cards. To the notes.


  • Javian Hawkins really loves playing Florida teams. I am not sure if he is pissed that two of the most storied programs in the sunshine state didn’t choose him but at any rate Louisville has benefited from it. Against Miami he rushed for 164 yards and a score. Against FSU, he rushed for 174 yards and three scores. He had 96 yards in the first quarter, ….yeah. It feels really good to have a rushing attack as well as a guy who can eclipse 1,000 yards or more in a season.
  • Micale Cunningham has heard your comments and read your tweets about a possible benching. He was not amused. I will refer to him as Micale for the remainder of the season. You can refer to him as “Sir”.
  • Welcome back big play Louisville. Please stay for a while, take your shoes off and get comfortable. There is pizza in the oven and beers in the fridge.
  • We all know that Tutu and Micale are just another example of great tandems in Louisville history. They are right up there with Chris Redman and Arnold Jackson. Dave Ragone and Deion Branch. Brian Brohm and Mario Urrutia/Harry Douglas. Teddy Bridgewater and Devante Parker. Lamar Jackson and the read option….you get the picture. But it was good to see them finally in sync on Saturday. Too many times Tutu has been overthrown by Micale and with Atwell’s blazing speed that is hard to do. Whatever the case, the chips fell into place against FSU and it seemed that even when Tutu was covered he was open.
  • Monty Montgomery will play on Sundays. We have been raving about him since the opening game against WKU and each game he gives a new reason as to why. His closing speed and ability to spy dual-threat quarterbacks makes him one of Louisville’s most prized players.
  • Whatever Bryan Brown and Cort Dennison tweaked for this defense has worked. Louisville has tallied 6 quarterback sacks over the last two games after barely sniffing one in the previous two games. I know Brown has been criticized by the fanbase, including myself, for the lack of pressure. I am not sure if he is changing his philosophy or if this has been the plan all along but it has not be effective. Either way, its working so please keep doing it.
  • Jack Fagot got an interception. You know, that thing that continues to elude the defense each week. We would have had about three of them against FSU but hey, baby steps.
  • I will go to my grave saying that Marshon “Fuggin” Ford scored in the third quarter. And even if the knee was down the ball had already broken the plane which is all you freaking need. I will also go to my grave saying BJ Butler scored in the first quarter of the Sugar Bowl in 2012. And for good measure, Patrick Sparks walked twice in Freedom Hall in 2004 and Cole Hikutini was interfered with on 3rd down against Clemson in 2016.
  • I will have to ask Kelly Dickey but this has to be the first time Louisville has played against two former quarterback recruits in the same game. As you already know, Jordan Travis was a full blown Louisville Cardinal and Chubba Purdy was basically packed and headed to the Derby City for nine months. With Travis, he got Petrino’d and I will never, EVER, hold his decision to leave against him. Chubba’s situation was different. His decision to decommit was solely based on family and relationships that he had with people at FSU. Either way, neither quarterback had a great day and Chubba not only was booed by the Cardinal faithful in attendance but he also went 0-9 passing on the day. I am not a fan of booing amateur players and I definitely am not a fan of booing a guy who made a last minute decision to go elsewhere. So when we have to hear about that for the next few seasons blame those 11k in attendance. Unless it was piped in boos, then blame the sound operator.
  • Took a few games but finally we got to see the youth movement for Louisville. Jalen Mitchell, Lovie Jenkins, Greedy Vance, Dez Tell, Ramon Puryear, Thurman Geathers (remember him?), Josh Minkins Jr, and KJ Cloyd all got to see game action.
  • Louisville was credited for 12 pass deflections on Saturday. I haven’t been this excited about deflections since Pitino was here.
  • Ean Pfeifer sees your tweets about his TD streak ending, so he started a new one. That’s all he does now, its his birthright at this point.
  • Every game I have to ask myself who the hell Roscoe Johnson is and then I almost immediately remember that he is a transfer out of UNC. Hopefully he makes a huge play for us this season, the name Roscoe should be legendary around here.
  • One thing I love about this staff is the fact they reward hard working players. Maurice Burkley is one of those guys. I was really hoping he scored on that long run late in the game, he ended it amassing 63 yards on 7 carries.
  • We should have beaten FSU the last two seasons. Still, I was reminded of the gems last years game gave us. Cleveland Brown was in attendance and I feel like we don’t talk about it enough.

However, Saturdays game gave us more than we could ever imagine. Louisville’s version of 50 Cent. He goes by the rap name Silver Dollar. We also call him Popeye.


We don’t know if that is a bulletproof vest or a shirt from Kanye’s collection but the boldness of this guy to:

A) Not give two shits about what you think.

B) Nail the perfect use of a pipe.

C) Have one of those hats your uncle wears at the family BBQ all while drinking like your uncle, dancing like your uncle, and be asked by the people around him to leave……..like your uncle.

Bonus** Guy in bottom right is so sick of this shit.

  • If you have not been listening to the TCZ Pod, go to hell. Ok I kid (partly) but our listener who we refer to as Pack has been on a mission to associate wings with the opponent we are playing. Notre Dame ruined everything but he is back on track with his FSU themed wings.
  • (**SIDENOTE**, he meant Tallahassee, not Jacksonville)
  • Four game losing streak about to end. Beatdown of an ACC rival. Feel good moments all around!! Only thing left to do is leave the game early:


Person(s) or things that earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • Javian Hawkins
  • Micale Cunningham
  • Tutu Atwell
  • Monty Montgomery
  • Marshon Ford
  • Ean Pfiefer
  • Maurice Burkley
  • Jack Fagot
  • Satterfield dancing
  • Goal line stands
  • Missouri Football
  • Michael Penix. In a game of inches we realized that puns are even better.
  • Puma Pass making an appearance and throwing a touchdown.
  • Fumble pushups

Person(s) or things that have to watch Hocus Pocus on a loop with one working ear bud:

  • Nick “I can’t go a day without obsessing over Louisville” Roush. Even Matt Jones decided to have a life outside of his rival. Nick is on our balls so much we may as well call him pubes. I would respect it more if his jokes about us were good, but they are step above dad jokes. Nick Pubes has an addiction to Louisville. And like most people with crazy addictions, it usually ends with him on his knees doing favors to feed it.



  • TCZ Podcast will record a new episode this week. Mailbag is open, shoot us a DM if you want to be featured
  • Louisville vs. VaTech next Saturday at 4pm.
  • As expected, Pitt has lost 4 straight since beating Louisville..
  • Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Wear a mask.
  • When the Cards win, they party. When they party, we all win. When we all win, Satterfield does this:

Be cool in this hot city.

(The Zoom call has ended)

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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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