“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

(**Reaches in kitchen cabinet and grabs biggest mug I can find, drops a few ice cubes into the glass,  fills to the brim with Bourbon.  Takes a shot of tequila for good measure).

The BHK is on his way to being highly intoxicated and nothing will stop this train.  This edition of the court notes will be different than what you have read before.  I will not bash players, I will destroy coaches.  Yes, players play and coaches coach but those coaches are paid thousands and in some cases millions to prepare a team and I have not seen one game this year where our coaching staff has earned a full paycheck.

Yes that is harsh but it is also a fact.  Raise your hand if you have seen Louisville play a complete game this year.  Put your hands down and get out of my courtroom you damn liar.  There is frustration and then there is what Louisville fans are going through this year.  Forget mojo, we have lost all enjoyment in anything Louisville related this year.   Like the team, the fans needed that game last night.   We needed a healthy distraction to take away from the other BS we have had to endure.  We needed some good news when the ESPN Bottom Line ticker was detailing the Adidas contract for Coach 2. ………and we didn’t get it.

We all need good news. The piling on has become unbearable and the local newspaper reads like an obituary these days.  I can’t help but think this is the bill for the “Year of the Cardinal”.  Can we send Jon Snow, the Hound, Tormund, and the Lord of the Light and go find the person we sold our soul to have that awesome year?  Tell them we need to make a return to get our soul back, this drama and embarrassment is not worth it. (we will keep the 2013 championship for our trouble).  Enough of my rambling, let’s get to it.

Any outbursts from the court and you will be removed by @sleepycardfan also known as PAWWWWWWWL.   If there is anyone that can fix the defense, it’s  him.  Just give him one week, UGK’s ” Ridin’ Dirty” album, and get the hell out of the way.


  • Peter Sirmon was a terrible hire.


  • Peter Sirmon’s defensive schemes are  basically Swiss cheese and laundry basket.  Lots of holes and won’t contain much.


  • I never thought I would see the day where Bobby friggin Petrino would have a ton of talent and speed on offense and not know how to use it.   Unbelievable.


  • Back to Sirmon.  I have bit my tongue the past 4 games but then came last night.  I don’t know if Sirmon is afraid to blitz or allergic to it but it is apparent he refuses to use Trevon Young and James Hearns at his disposal.  REFUSES TO!  Yeah we all had our issues with Grantham but at least that guy would dial up some damn pressure and not let a young QB get comfortable.    We allow QB’s to sit back in the pocket like I sit back on my couch after a long day.  Purdue’s QB’s, comfortable. Both of UNC’s QB’s,  comfortable.  Kelly Bryant in his first road start, comfortable.   Kent State’s horrible QB’s, semi-comfortable.  Murray State’s QB…….Murray frickin State….comfortable and we didn’t even sack him once.   Huh??  This defense can’t get to an FCS QB?  And what’s worse, that is not even the best offense we have seen yet.  Syracuse can put up points, FSU is still FSU despite the record, and UK’s Stephen Johnson can throw deep balls with the best of them, as proven last year.  I hope I am wrong but it looks like the coaching staff has lost the defense.  If we are frustrated I can imagine how the players feel.  What in the hell are they being taught?


  • 60 NFL scouts in the building and we make Ryan Finley look like a 1st round draft pick.  Yeah Lamar had a great game and his stats will support it but I feel for guys like Jaire who is a future 1st round pick and Stacy Thomas who  plays his a** off each game and goes down in this game.


  • We are legitimately looking at Reggie Bonnafon,  Trey Smith, and Harry Trotter as our only options for the rest of the season.  Even if he is ready to go, I would not play Dae Williams, just save him.  We learned Colin Wilson is out for the year and based on what we saw with Malik Williams injury I would not be surprised if  he didn’t join Wilson on the IR.  (takes big gulp of Bourbon)


  • As far as the available running backs, it would not matter anyway because Bobby hates the running game now and you can file that under “things I never thought I would type”.   I never bought into the Bobby 1.0 vs 2.0 hype but now I am a believer that something has changed.   Take a look at this halftime stat:



What the **** is that?   The run sets up the pass, everyone knows that.  You run Malik and Reggie twice and then say to hell with it?  I don’t understand it at all.   We lost a RB commit this week, and I see why.


  • Back to Sirmon.  Do we teach our defensive players how to miss tackles?? Asking for a fanbase.   I am sick and tired of the defense:

A.)  Missing tackles and not wrapping up.  If we were playing bingo using chips labeled with “wrap him up” we would have a winner in minutes.

B.) The middle of the field is CON-STANT-LY   open.   Sirmon you are paid to defend, but so far we are paying you to assist opposing offenses in improving their yardage.

C.)  IT ME, BLITZ PACKAGE YOU REFUSE TO USE.   Yeah let’s use a 4-2-5 scheme and never pressure the QB.  It was 3rd and f*****g 15 last night and we rushed 3……….3………….3……THREE………Tres.  And the NC State receiver caught the ball in the middle of 5 defensive players…….5……….FIVE…….Cinco.

D.)  You can’t lose Jaylen Samuels in coverage, we lost him.    You can’t let Nyheim Hines get loose, we did.  You can’t let Ryan Finley get comfortable in the pocket and pick you apart, we did and he did.

E.) 3rd and Sirmon is a thing and it is way worst than 3rd and Grantham.


  • This stat……..folks I have no words. (Chugs bourbon)


  • Your positive note from last night. Dez Fitzpatrick and Seth Dawkins each had huge games. Both were over 100 yards receiving last night and both came up big for us or it would have been worse.   Dez is making a case for freshman of the year in the ACC.


  • Micky Crum and Traveon Samuel didn’t have their best games last night but those guys are still great players.


  • Speaking of Micky Crum,  what has happened to the Bobby’s use of the tight ends in his system.  Gone are the days of Gary Barnidge and Adam McCauley raking up big yards.  We have all these great tight ends and won’t use them. We threw a shovel pass to Charles Standberry last night. HUH???  Unleash the offense.


  • Don’t take this the wrong way but Lamar didn’t win the Heisman last year as a pocket passer. He did it by using his God given talent.  For some reason, we keep pulling his reins and not letting him loose. Part of that is that defenses continue to watch the Houston/LSU game film and use those schemes to keep him contained.   But in my opinion, we just gotta take the Bugatti out on the open road and let the throttle roar.


  • The Tax Boys have been giving out rapid refunds so far and it sucks because you know for a fact they are better than this.


  • I like watching Khane Pass  play, but when he is making a lot of tackles we have major problems.  It is never a good thing when your safety is making a ton of tackles.


  • Found the Big Lot’s  version of myself at the game last night:


Of who’s mans does this guy reside?????


  • Bobby can’t beat ranked teams on the road.   It’s facts at this point.


  • NC State fans and Louisville are alike.  Neither fanbase understands the rules of a blackout game. Neither fanbase returns a full crowd after halftime.  Both teams have an annoying sound byte that the fanbase hates.  For us it’s Van Halen on 3rd down, for them it’s the howling wolf.   Mazel Tov….


  • This is sobering to say the least but as Charlie Strong’s recruits have left the program so has tackling skills and defensive schemes.   Vance Bedford is available, just throwing it out there.


  • I will not bash young players especially true freshman playing in their 6th game of the year.   BUT….coaches are there to get them ready to play and put them in a position to make a play.  The coaching staff is not doing so well with that.


  • Say what you will about Bobby but at least he owns up to a loss.  He has accepted blame a lot this year, this is something we never heard from Coach 2.  Pow-Pow…..


  • Mason King looked great last night, but the punting game is not something you really want to brag about.  At least he can flip the field though and pin their offense deep in their own territory.  Also shout out to Blanton Creque for nailing a career long 48 yard FG last night.


  • Special teams is a head-scratcher and continues to be under Petrino.  We continued to punt and kick to Hines. We also continue the trend of giving up a big special teams play after our offense scores.  I don’t understand it  at all and it is really nerve wrecking.


  • Did we really need two Hasselbeck’s on the call last night?   ESPN continues to twist the knife….


And in closing as I start to  slur my words, I am not too sure what to expect of this team the last 6 games of the year.  I said in the beginning we would go 10-2 but we have major issues on defense and now 8-4 or even 7-5 is not out of the question.  We cannot fire a coach in the middle of the season especially with all the interim tags floating around at the university.  But something has to give and soon or you run the risk of losing your team all together.  Bobby has to find out how to use his offense  (never thought I would type this) and Sirmon has to find out how a blitz package actually works.

I am tired of saying “we will be fine” and “not time to panic”.   At this point I am done with the Willy Wonka sugar coating, I think we are in some serious trouble on defense and it started with the Purdue game and has yet to be corrected.

The fact is, a fanbase is looking for something, anything to feel good about and so far we are coming up empty. No, the fanbase does not take the hits or go through the training to be a college football player. But after hearing and seeing your school trashed all over the world you want to be able to smile about your football team who was largely ignored for the past two weeks.

We have the Heisman winner, we need to take the governor off as TBG would say.   We have James Hearns and Trevon Young, we need to send them every play.  We have a shifty burner named Traveon Samuel, let him touch the football, hell use him at running back for few plays.  We have great tight ends, they need to be used in an offensive scheme at some point. We have some good linebackers, what are we waiting for?

I hope that we can turn it around, we are running out of chances to do so and The Walking Dead starts soon.  Just saying you don’t want a fanbase to lose interest too soon, if you do it could be…….hey is that Negan.


Be cool in this hot city


Court adjourned (bangs gavel)





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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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