“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

What’s understood doesn’t have to be said, or in this case, typed.

Scott Satterfield is the coach of the year in the ACC, maybe even in the nation. I don’t need to tell you why – you have eyes.

Louisville is four games better than they were last year, and this number has the potential to be as high as seven games if they can win out and get a bowl win. I didn’t need to tell you that – you have eyes.

My favorite Louisville teams of all time are the 2004, 2006, and 2012 Louisville Cardinals. I loved their offense, defense, charisma, and swag. They were a well-oiled machine. None of those teams compare to the 2019 Cardinals. Not one.

Everyone loves the underdog. Louisville this year has been a shining example of one. This has been one of the best seasons to attend, and the fact we get to see the team celebrate on a cold rainy night in Raleigh is more than any of us could imagine. I said 5-7 would be the overall record. I am so glad to eat this crow.

To the notes!!!!


  • Congrats to Javian Hawkins on being the first freshman to rush for 1,000 yards since Bilal Powell. Although the turf conditions made it hard to get footing on Saturday, it was still nice to see him get the record. As long as its not raining on Saturday, I think he runs wild on Syracuse.
  • Thank you to our Seniors. You deserve every good thing that has happened this season and anything yet to come. So happy for Seth Dawkins, G.G. Robinson, Blanton Creque, Mason King, Amonte Caban, and others. Those guys saw the highs of a 2016 season where the Cards would start 9-1 and the lows of a 2-10 season two years later. I don’t predict wins, but I would be shocked if Louisville doesn’t destroy Syracuse on Saturday.
  • I was one of the fans suggesting Micale Cunningham should be benched to start the second half after he struggled early. His 242 yard, three touchdown second half determined that I need to shut my whore mouth and mind my business.
  • Marshon Ford was a walk-on before the summer. Now he can’t stop catching touchdowns and blocking people over to Sellersburg. He is also the beneficiary of what will be the most talked about fake kick in Louisville history. So happy for these guys.
  • I have watched the Tutu Atwell touchdown several times. He probably could have kept running and still scored easily had he not starting weaving over the field. That speed is here for at least another year or two.
  • Another Ean Pfeifer sighting on Saturday and another touchdown. Who the hell does this guy think he is?? I was lucky to see Rhonnie Gent and Gary Barnidge. Marshon and Ean are now my favorite TE’s, this is until Dez Melton does something insane and changes my mind.
  • Not a fan of the slow start by the defense but after halftime they settled in and didn’t allow NC State to run freely all over the field. Not sure what adjustments Brown made, but it seems like the team just calmed down and let the game come to them. It helped that State kept giving us the ball free of charge.
  • There is a thing on the front of a players helmet called a face mask. It’s used to prevent face and head injury. Someone let the refs know that grabbing it continuously is frowned upon for both teams, not just NC State. I know it was cold and rainy, and the game was in the armpit of North Carolina, but come the hell on. If you see it, call it.
  • I think I set a Guinness record of how many times I kept saying “throw it up” on Saturday. NC State’s defense has been decimated by injury, and they are frankly not that great in the secondary. I get we are going to be a run-first team, but in those conditions we all were calling for Louisville to air it out. Looks like Coach Ledford came out of halftime refusing to take an L. Imagine if they had started throwing earlier.
  • NC State had more total yards than Louisville along with more first downs. That 20 point outburst in the second half was equivalent to the “BOOM” we see in the Yum! Center at times.
  • Louisville needs to wear the black helmet, white top, black pants/shoes combo for every road trip to North Carolina and beyond. Worked against Wake. Worked against NC State. Only one more regular season road trip left before the bowl game. Hmmm.
  • All Dez does is catch touchdowns, smile really big, do a fancy handshake, and then get his hands on a blank dry erase board.
  • Dorian Etheridge played like a crazed wild man on Saturday. He finished with eleven total tackles (seven of them solo) and a well-timed interception. The defense will only get better as the depth builds.
  • I am still bummed about Blanton Creque being done for the year. What is even more frustrating is he was injured on a stupid re-kick penalty that is hardly ever called. If only there was a backup kicker on this team that could do something to help us all move forward. It would also help if said individual made a play that will probably be talked about for years to come and shown on his senior day as he walks out with his parents…..

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH THAT’LL WORK… let’s go with this guy.

  • So I didn’t get a chance to see the postgame conversation after we beat Wake Forest, but can I just say I would watch bearded, eyes slightly open, zoned out Mark Richt every single day and not get tired of it? Richt has the demeanor of someone who popped an edible but didn’t wait for it to kick in before popping two more. Then right before the show went live, boom, full James Brown:

While we still have a few weeks before we find out what bowl we are going to, let me just say no to the Sun Bowl. I will go a little further and say the ACC’s affiliation with the Sun Bowl needs to die a horrible, agonizing death. It’s the second oldest bowl game along with the Orange Bowl and Rose Bowl, but no one is in a hurry to go to El Paso, Texas.

I also am trying to figure out why that is one of the bowl affiliates for a conference who’s members are primarily on the, oh I don’t know, Atlantic Coast. Imagine Syracuse trying to sell tickets and asking for fans to travel from upstate New York to Texas. Some Louisville fans won’t even drive 15 minutes to Cardinal stadium on a cold day let alone board a plane to go to El Paso a few days after Christmas. I really hope another bowl is created and hosted in Indianapolis in the dome. The Colts have proven they don’t take playing there seriously.


The courtroom will now be open for statements and questioning:

Andrew Tolley (@Drew_Buckets) I’ll start… DONT. PAY. BOBBY. A. DIME!!!!!! WE BOWLING!


Honestly, what else needs to be asked or said today??


Person(s) or things that earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • The Louisville coaching staff. Louisville was only set to win 3-4 games. How’d that work out?
  • Dave “Biscuit” Scull who made a triumphant return to the Twitter-verse last week. Keep grinding buddy.
  • Ryan Chalifoux’s G.O.A.T status
  • Micale Cunningham after halftime
  • Javian Hawkins joining the 1,000 yard club
  • Ean Pfeifer’s TD catches
  • Tutu’s separation speed
  • Marshon Fuggin Ford
  • Dorian Etheridge
  • Scott Satterfield postgame speeches
  • Road trips to the state of North Carolina for football games
  • Dez having access to a dry erase board and a marker
  • Vince Tyra in a mosh pit
  • Vince Tyra in a bird mask
  • Vince Tyra’s coaching hires
  • Coach Mike Siragano’s dancing ability atop a locker
  • Robbie Bell’s facial expressions during Vince Tyra’s entrance
  • Evansville Purple Aces
  • Mark Ingram

Person(s) or things that must get hit over the head with a helmet:

  • The Sun Bowl
  • ACC Refs. Guess it will take a player dying from a broken neck before a face mask penalty is called.
  • NC State fans. I don’t care how bad your team is, I still remember the FBI chants from two years ago. Enjoy being home next month.
  • Clay Travis analysis
  • Baylor pulling an Atlanta in the Super Bowl
  • UK as the #1 team
  • Rival fans asking us to put aside years of ridicule in order to secure a vote
  • Myles Garrett. What are you thinking?
  • Mason Rudolph. What are you doing?
  • Baker Mayfield. Why are you talking?
  • Georgia Tech’s road to a bowl game
  • Bobby getting one dime of that $14 million
  • The old staff. We are going to a bowl, you guys are going to grab another bowl of cereal, vast difference.


And in closing:

  • Louisville is now just playing for a tier one bowl. A win over Syracuse should secure it. Tax Slayer in Jacksonville, Belk Bowl, and Music City are possible options.
  • I am still upset I will miss Senior day. Give em hell Cards!!!
  • Syracuse game is a 4pm kickoff. Seniors deserve every seat to be full at least in the lower bowl.
  • If you have extra tickets or can’t make the game, let us know so we can help those go out to someone who can use them.
  • You can still donate to Dave Scull at the Red Rage or Collision Course tailgates this weekend.
  • Here’s hoping the Lamar Jackson party continues. Speaking of party:

Be cool in this hot city

Court adjourned (bangs gavel)

The following two tabs change content below.

LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

Latest posts by LJ Nesbitt (see all)

TCZ Comments