“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

One more game left.

Yup, the 2018 season to forget is almost over.  I remember how excited I was to see how 5th year Bobby would use all these weapons.  Now I am equally as as excited to see this end.  And it will, on a cold, damp night in November against our hated rival from the east.

There is nothing to recap (again) this week.  Interim coach, same issues.   You couldn’t possibly expect a different outcome six days after Bobby was canned.  The players were energized for about 5 minutes of the first quarter. Then it was back to the norm.

Blown assignments, missed tackles, terrible execution, dumb penalties.  I counted four illegal substitution penalties and I think I might be missing a few.  That was something that happened against Bama, problem is it never stopped happening.  This was not a six day fix, Louisville football is in need of a cultural overhaul.  Lorenzo Ward can do all the Oklahoma drills and play all the music in practice that he wants,  that doesn’t mean that we are going to win games.  We will have to gut the program, cut out what isn’t working, start fresh and hope things improve. And we will.

So, like we have done for the past few weeks, lets continue with the questioning segment from the people of the BucketHatism court.

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No bailiff this week. This atmosphere seems pretty laid back and I don’t want to have people removed from the courtroom  days before Thanksgiving.   Besides, we need all hands on deck when those bums down the road invade the city.

 

C_Low05 (@clowery05): Both a statement and question : 3rd quarter

What about it?  I am guessing that is when the wheels fell off in the NC  State game?  Please be more specific when asking questions, I am not good at trivia.

 

Corito (@oyyyeeeeCorito86): What kind of bourbon are we drowning our sorrows in tonight?

I don’t drink nearly as much as people think I do.  I am usually only a social drinker and even then I may only have one or two and tap out.  But when I do partake it’s either Woodford Reserve or Maker’s Mark.  I have a special bottle that I am planning to pop when our new football coach is announced. I have only told fellow tweeter MadOnline247, I will explain why he is the only one to know later.

 

Rachel (@snicklefritz35): I’m still planning on going to the Kentucky game. Should I seek help for this medical condition?

If going to the UK game and sitting among the dreaded bluenecks is a mental illness, then go ahead and get my padded room ready.  Unless its pouring raining and freezing cold I will be there, losing season or not. I cannot fathom staying home when I have a game ticket and I sit beside the visitors section so I am used to idiot fans.  Truth is, the game in 2014 (Bolin keeps Cats from bowling) was the worst I have seen it.  2016 was not that bad except for the ending.   I will be there with you unless we are getting curbstomped again. Then I will go home early and suffer in silence.

 

Sallie (@Card_Sharp72): What tweaks should we make in practice this week to get prepared for Kentucky?

Sallie, the only tweaks we can make in practice will be cleaning house and starting fresh. There is nothing we can do in a week to get prepared for the Governor’s Cup. Nothing.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a rivalry game or not, the same execution and same coaching remains.  Sadly, I think you will see the same energy this week that you saw against NC State.  Team will be pumped early and then it will fade away as the game goes on. They have not executed all year, I can’t expect them to play a full 60 minutes this weekend.  Hurts to admit it but I haven’t seen anything that would suggest otherwise.

 

Connor Volpe (@94worldspremier): The team looked so energized in the pregame and in the first half. What happened at halftime ?

Halftime? What happened in the first quarter.  The energy of the team looked like a remote control with weak batteries. Yea its cool in the beginning but a few minutes later you find yourself looking for more juice.  Louisville will need to replace multiple batteries in the off-season, but you already knew that.  The energy you saw was fake juice, plain and simple.   You have seen this team all year, just as I have.  You know damn well what happened.

 

Tony Montana (@Tmo4Cards): Sadly the Cards’ “bowl game” looms. Is there a chance of holding Snell under 200 yards and the slapdicks under 50?

For some reason, Eddie Gran refuses to use Benny Snell correctly.  I have seen many games where Snell is underutilized and for the life of me I don’t know why.  But if Eddie Gran and the Cayuts want to get that trophy back, they better run the kneecaps off of Benny Snell.  I know I know, it hurt me to type that.  But aside from Florida State,  Louisville has not stopped the run all year.  Go check the stats, I will wait.  Louisville’s run defense is like my hairline,………non-existent.   And that will not get better in a week.  Its also the reason why L.D. Scott and Ryan Beard are sitting at home playing Uno with Bob.

Here are our opponents team rushing totals from every game this year.

  • Bama 222 yards
  • ISU 174 yards
  • WKU 168 yards
  • Virginia 204 yards
  • FSU 76 yards  (Francois threw for nearly 300 yards)
  • Georgia Tech 542 yards
  • Boston College 251 yards ( AJ Dillon didn’t even play)
  • Wake Forest  368 yards
  • Clemson  492 yards  (3 players had 100+ yards rushing)
  • Syracuse 326 yards
  • NC State  164 yards  (Finley threw for 354 yards)
  • UK ????

Louisville has allowed 2, 987 rushing yards this season.  I think UK will try to get 60 points on us.  Last game, nightmare season, a chance for UK to get 9 wins, yeah……Stoops is running it up.  I am afraid to see what might happen on Saturday. Whatever the case, we will deal with it and move forward.   Just know if we somehow beat UK, I will celebrate like we just beat the Patriots.

 

mandola74 (@CottrellMandy): Do you think we would have ever seen Jurich hugging players at the Card March or passing out gear to the fans in the parking lot? 

Hugging players, yes.  Jurich was always present on the sidelines and giving out hugs and handshakes.  Passing out things in the parking lot, I highly doubt it.  And I am sorry Mandola but can we please stop the comparisons with Tyra and Jurich.  They are both fan favorites and Jurich did a ton for this university. Tyra is a totally different guy and does things his way so there really is no comparison.   We can’t be happy in our new marriage if we keep bringing up our ex-wife.  Godspeed to Jurich but he is living his best life in buyout heaven right now.

 

Jrue (@DrewEsaray): If Louisville football were a candy bar, which would they be? Historically? This season? Thank you for your time.

Great question, I love this.  Historically, Louisville has been a Twix bar.  Some years they are forgotten and then they do something that makes people realize “hey, you guys were and still are pretty good”.  What I am saying is that Louisville has their fair share of up and down years but they have still remained relevant.  We are striving for Snickers and Reese Cup status though.  This  season, Louisville was a whole heap of Mounds and Milky Way.  The candy bar that the kids don’t mind if their parents sneak in their bag and eat them.  This season was the dried out candy bar left in the bowl.  We are currently a Mounds.  A disgusting mix of shredded coconut and dark chocolate that no one asked for.

 

Jason Sanders: Will we ever forget this season?

Did we forget going 1-10 under Ron Cooper??   Did we forget the Kragthorpe era??   There is your answer. BUT, your lowest point will create some positive memories going forward.  This team will remember the blowouts and embarrassments and use that in 2019.  The freshman on this team will have something to look back on during their senior day. Sometimes the storms we go through make for the brightest days afterwards.  And that is not just in football, that is in life period.    Before we won the 2013 championship, we suffered through the losing to Morehead State in the first round.  Before we watched Teddy raise the Sugar Bowl MVP trophy, we watch Rutgers beat us 63-14.  Before we beat WVU to go to the 2005 Final Four, we saw Louisville lose 20 games in Denny’s last year.  This is rock bottom, and will be a learning curve for next year.  Remember this season when we are celebrating big wins in the next few years.

 

Elexus (@TheNameLex): Do we honestly have a quarterback on the roster? I just don’t see Pass or Cunningham being the future.

We have 3, what we don’t have is a QB coach.  Nick Petrino was so bad at his job, he failed to prepare any of these guys.   Once again, this is why he is sitting at home with his dad instead of coaching.  Pass and Cunningham may not start but they are still talented.   You also have Jaden Johnson coming in January.  It all depends on the QB coach next season.  I am also holding out hope the new coach can somehow lure Jordan Travis back to the Ville.  He is a clear cut starter next season if that happens.

 

L’ville Lich Lord (@Undead_Swankin): What’s your take on the Brohm hype? You tend to have a more “down to earth” approach, but is the hype is real?

Thanks, I try to be level headed and try to weigh the pros and cons in most things.   My take on Brohm is that he is the best fit for this program.  I think his attitude, work ethic, record with QB’s, and demeanor is what this team needs.  Look at WKU and Purdue in their first year under Brohm.   He is a culture changer and for a program in need of a change in culture. We have to exorcise the Petrino demon that has damaged the program.  I think we will win the Brohm sweepstakes.  The hype is definitely real.

 

Randolph Scott (@ahowe40204): Will Cardinal Stadium be sold a sellout? If so, will it be more UK fans than UofL fans?

Will Cardinal Stadium be a what??  LOL, I sat here for a few seconds trying to decipher this.  Anyway, the only way the Governor’s Cup will be more blue than red is if Louisville fans sell their seats to UK fans.  Like I said, I am not one to tell people how to spend their money or use their game ticket. But don’t expect me to be sympathetic to you crying about “all that blue” when you helped create the neutral site atmosphere.  If you don’t want UK fans in your seat, they use your damn ticket.  If you can’t use your ticket, sell to a Louisville fan that can.   Never made sense to me that our fans would sell to a rival fanbase who will come in and root against the home team.  But we have some fans who are not diehard like me.  I will be there, can’t speak for  other fans.

 

@iWILLreptheVill:  If you could build the perfect staff, from Head Coach to Special Teams, what would it be?

Ok, here goes:

 

  • Head Coach – Jeff Brohm (Duh)
  • Offensive Coordinator: Joe Moorehead (currently at Mississippi State)
  • Defensive Coordinator: Brent Venables (currently at Clemson)
  • Quarterbacks Coach- Dave Ragone (currently with the Chicago Bears)
  • Offensive Line Coach – Sam Pittman (currently at Georgia)
  • Running Backs Coach – John Settle  (currently  at Wisconsin)
  • Wide Receiver Coach:  Kasey Dunn  (currently at Oklahoma State)
  • Defensive Line Coach – Todd Bates (currently at Clemson)
  • Defensive Backs Coach- Karl Scott (currently at Bama)
  • Linebackers coach- Cort Dennison (currently at Oregon)
  • Special Teams coach- John L. Smith  (current head coach at Kentucky State)
  • Strength and Conditioning coach – Jeff Madden (currently at Texas)

If I had my way and could make this happen I can almost guarantee we are going to the College Football Playoffs within 2-4 years.   Mark it down.  Also, notice how none of these guys are related.

 

Kelly Madeya (@KellyMadeya): Does Coach Whammy want to be retained?

I mean, I am sure no one WANTS to be fired lolololol.

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Person(s) who earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • Dave “Biscuit” Scull for throwing a breakfast tailgate complete with ribeye, eggs, potatoes and Woodford.
  • Uncle Larry who made his annual trip to Louisville from Orlando.
  • The WDRB reporter who interviewed me. Brohm, Brohm, and more Brohm dammit.
  • The Diehards
  • Jeff Brohm’s “Louisville questions dodging” interview skills

Person(s) who earned a can of room temperature Natty Light:

  • Brian VanGorder.  Start packing your office up while you rob the university of 900k and develop a gameplan that will make Benny Snell look like Barry Sanders next weekend.
  • NC State’s band.  Way to play the entire game, even during military tributes.
  • The NC State male cheerleaders who tumbled and flipped the ENTIRE GAME in front of my section.
  • The “one bad year” crowd.
  • Those people who expected the Petrino family to use their suite one week after Bobby was fired. Come on fam.
  • People who ruin Thanksgiving dishes.  Raisins in potato salad  is  grounds for an ass whipping. Just cause you can, doesn’t mean you should.

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And in closing my advice to Cardnation is remember this week.  Enjoy Thanksgiving with your family and friends.  If you are still partaking in Black Friday, be safe.  Also know that Cyber Monday is way better.  If you chose to stay at home next weekend you can’t complain about the fanbase or all the UK fans in the stadium.  Try to find UofL fans to sell tickets to.  Drink responsibly, remember that Lyft and Uber were created so that you don’t have to drive drunk.  Spend the money and get home safe.

Beat the Slapd**ks.

Be cool in this hot city.

Court adjourned (bangs gavel)

 

 

 

 

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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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