“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

357 days. That is how long it had been since the last Louisville win. 51 weeks had passed since the Cards last tasted victory. The 10-game losing streak is officially over. May it rest in hell.

Aside from Bama and Clemson, every team in the FBS has experienced a down season in the past few seasons. There are a few teams (looking at you Tennessee and Miami) who are still having down seasons. For Louisville, we hadn’t seen this type of decline since 1997, and this was somehow worse.

But again, it’s over.

EKU is not a Power Five team. They are not even considered a Group of Five team. But nonetheless, when they are needed for a much needed victory those guys from Richmond come through. Charlie Strong was able to secure his first program win against the Colonels as well back in the 2010 season.

Scott Satterfield celebrates with family after his first win as Louisville’s head coach. (photo by William Caudill)

There are still a ton of questions yet to be answered by this team, but for now, I am just going to sit back and enjoy not having to cover yet another loss. It feels good to see winning football again, regardless of the opponent.

Let’s get to the notes.


I gave the bailiff the week off. For 357 days he or she has been standing guard making sure the courtroom remained peaceful despite all hell breaking loose on the outside. After securing the first win in the Satterfield era, the bailiff has more than earned a few days of reckless eating and binge drinking.

  • I would be doing a disservice to all of you if I didn’t give props to the Louisville defense. Shutting out EKU is not going to garner a ton of attention from the national sports media, but around Louisville, it’s a pretty big feat. Our fanbase saw their defense not being able to stop a nosebleed last season, and now they are seeing goose eggs displayed on the scoreboard. Shutting out a team is not easy, regardless of the level, and the Louisville defense deserved to have a game that not only builds confidence, but proves to them that they can do it if they stay on the same page.
  • It was good to see Rodjay Burns thriving on Saturday. The Louisville native ended the game with 7 tackles, 4 solo tackles, 2 tackles for loss, and 1 sack. Playing in Bryan Brown’s “Card” position at linebacker is already paying dividends and hopefully its only up from here.
  • Huge congrats to Marshon Ford, who scored his first and second career touchdowns on Saturday. It’s a really big deal when you come in as a walk-on and work your a** off to get a scholarship. I can imagine how sweet it was for Ford to cross that goal line after grinding for the past few seasons. I really hope we see more of the Ballard alum celebrating with his teammates in the endzone.
  • Javian Hawkins continues to rack up yardage in this new offense. The redshirt freshman rushed for 123 yards on just 11 carries. We really have to get this man a touchdown soon – he has earned that much.
  • Puma’s stat line looked amazing. Pass went 12/19 for 193 yards and 4 touchdowns. But the thing that a ton of fans, myself included, are pointing out is the accuracy issues that continue to plague him. When Puma misses, he misses badly. There is overthrowing your receiver… and then there is what Puma does. There were at least 14-21 points left on the field in the first half that could have easily been big scores. I really hope Frank Ponce can help him figure it out because, sadly, there are no more EKUs on the schedule, and better defenses will feast on mistakes.
  • Speaking of the QB situation, welcome back Malik Cunningham… and also welcome back QB controversy. I can’t tell you how many people in my section turned and looked at each other after Malik’s one and only pass went for 24 yards. Cunningham followed that up with a big touchdown run. Look, I am not suggesting you bench Puma in favor of Malik – lord knows we had enough of that carousel last season – but it will be interesting to see if a change is made or if there is a bigger effort to get him on the field if the offense is stalling.
  • Good to see the return of Dez 6-Patrick. Also great to see Justin Marshall able to record some receiving stats. Marshall was one of the recruits that fans were excited about a few seasons ago, and now he has a grand opportunity to reintroduce himself. If we get Seth Dawkins involved then we may have a good problem on our hands.
  • We have Tutu for two more seasons. Just thought you should know.
  • I saw a video of Thomas Nauert getting a ton of love on the sidelines from his teammates. Turns out Nauert, a DeSales grad, has been on the team since 2015 but has not seen a ton of game action. That changed on Saturday when he was able to get into the game. Feel good stories like that make it very easy to root for this team.

False. You don’t have more fun than these two:

Don’t try to top it, just accept that this married couple is better at celebrating life than you are.

  • Along with the Demon Deacon from Wake Forest, we now have another mascot that scares the hell out of everyone.
  • I had smoked meatloaf, smoked peach cobbler, Everclear pudding shots, and decent reception in the stadium on Saturday. If that is not hitting for the cycle then, I don’t know what is.
  • I like the new intro video for Louisville football, and I don’t care how long it is and that it makes the opposing team wait to run out of the tunnel. It’s a new day, and either you’re with it, against it, or in the way.
  • Ever since I mentioned on the TCZ Podcast (follow and subscribe folks) that I try not to drink on game day, a few of you have gone out of your way to try to get the BHK to partake. Just know that all pics you have seen of me drinking were doctored. I do not partake in Grandpa’s cough medicine on game day. Also, if you see a pic of me with a crazed, painted up fan wearing a crazy wig and calling himself “The Redbird,” just know that Photoshop still exists. I do not drink on game day, so stop asking me.
  • For those of you who missed the flyover on Saturday because you were too busy harassing the beer vendor about a happy hour special that you totally made up. You missed this:

I don’t care what anyone says, I am voiding my bowels as soon as the plane dips to the right. Altitude isn’t the only thing we are losing on this flight.


The courtroom will now be opened for questions as well as statements.

Naturday Saints Deacon (@Jmfaith78) So what did you think of the two back sets with Hawkins and Hall in the backfield? Looked good to me!!

I love the one-two punch it provides, and it also has me questioning why we owe Bobby 14 million. If he couldn’t realize he had two explosive backs on his squad, then he is not fit to lead.

Danimal (@Lord_Chewie) Do we need to reconsider the Kragthorpe era and blame that on Bobby too? Who shall be HWSNBN?

As much as I want to, I can’t. Bobby 1.0-led teams could show up and drop 50 on you damn near every game. Krag would show up with a plastic baseball bat and Oprah’s book of the month. The difference is night and day. Krag will forever be HWSNBN.

Bubba Ray Lindy (@jclindeman) Do you think Wakefield and Marshall will get more playing time?

This is extremely puzzling to me because I don’t see how Keion Wakefield and Josh Johnson are not getting reps over Thomas Jackson. Not knocking Jackson at all (and I am sure there are a ton of factors that play into it) but we all thought behind Tutu would be Keion and Josh in the 2-deep. I think Justin Marshall is easily going to be our best downfield threat next season and possibly at times this season. This staff will have to find a way to feed the studs.

Josh Eberenz (@josheberenz): Not that it will necessarily happen this year, but which team are you most looking forward to the Cards beating on their redemption tour. Other than UK (every year), I think UVA tops my list. They’re just so smug in their Oxford shirts and striped ties.

Wake Forest, hands down. Not only did they run the Matt Colburn angle into the ground, but it feels like we are still paying for their radio guy going rogue. We can’t help that a disgruntled employee fed us plays – perhaps you should pay attention to your own household. Also, let’s not ever forget how Wake celebrated after every score last season. I really can’t wait until they are humbled yet again along with Boston College and those bums down the road.

Mary Robinson (@CardChick): Can you describe in detail the grilled meatloaf and looking forward, is there an new recipe wishlist?

That meatloaf had been touched by an angel and kissed by God. Shout out again to the Catalina Wine Mixer Tailgate Crew. Thanks to Al Gore’s internet, we were able to re-enact the exact moment that I tasted the smoked meatloaf for the first time.:

I would love the recipe to the smoked peach cobbler that I also had. Biscuit has given me the recipe to his famous ribeyes, but I also screw them up, so I have accepted I will never be as good as him on the grill. I would name some more recipes but then someone in CardNation would just accuse us of stealing their idea that literally EVERYONE has done.

Brian Quinn (@bdquinn2) Who is your (extremely) early MVP of the team, so far? And, is there win on the schedule that get this staff to REALLY dance with the players in the locker room?

Right now, the early MVP is the defense as a unit. You give Notre Dame a run for their money and then 5 days later shut out another team. That’s improvement and a far cry from the numbers we saw them give up last season.

The only win that could have the coaches really dancing is those guys from Death Valley, SC. If they pull that off the, fanbase may set a Guinness World Record for the biggest electric slide in history.


Person(s) who earned a shot of top shelf liquor this week:

  • Jawon Pass – 4 TDs is not too shabby at all
  • Javian Hawkins
  • Malik Cunningham
  • Marshon Ford
  • Tutu’s goal line sprinter celebration
  • 3rd down music
  • Gate 4 Granny Panties
  • Green Lot Gangsters, Falls City Tailgate, Gate 4 Tailgate, and Catalina Wine Mixer tailgate. Thanks for hosting us.
  • Pre-game flyovers
  • Pudding shots
  • Week 1 Lamar Jackson
  • Thomas Nauert
  • Mike Rutherford and his wife Mary who welcomed their first child

Person(s) who must share a Lyft with EKU’s mascot and listen to him mouth-breathe the entire ride:

  • Puma’s accuracy on downfield passes
  • Tyreek Hill’s injury (there goes my fantasy team)
  • Fans who offer me drinks during the tailgate
  • Me drinking said drinks at tailgates
  • Complaining about the lines at the security checkpoints. They want to make sure we make it back home safely folks… let them.
  • Everything about Antonio Brown
  • The former staff


And in closing, I just want to enjoy this win. I have nothing else to add to it, and I have no complaints. After seeing what I saw last season, I want to celebrate every win like it’s our last because who knows, it could be.

For those of you heading to Nashville this weekend, be safe and drink responsibly. I will be in attendance, as well, so if you see me, please refrain from offering me alcoholic beverages.

Let’s hope we see more of these videos in the weeks to come.

Culture changing every day.

Be cool in this hot city.

Court adjourned (bangs gavel).

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LJ Nesbitt

The BHK. Writer for thecrunchzone.com , 1/2 of the TCZ Podcast. Surviving in the great city of Louisville, in the not so great state of KY. Loui$ville KY thecrunchzone.com

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