“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”
Welp, it was fun while it lasted but everything comes to an end. I will take credit for this loss (again) but only for a little of it. I had to do the post-game show along with Joe Kelly which required me to watch in public, which I never do, and 2 hours later Louisville was looking at their second conference loss and a lot of frustration. So my fault CardNation, the Ol’ BHK failed you on that but hey, we got a Wake blowout as a nice consolation prize and I will never complain about blowouts in the ACC. EVER.
One thing I will say about this team, they have a nice 24 hour rule in place. You never really see them dwell on a loss too long, although we as fans are still talking about games from the 2004 season (Sparks walked damn it) and that is refreshing. It’s also refreshing seeing the team realize mistakes, and correct on them the next game. VJ King, Adel, and Snider all took the loss to Miami personal and made amends against Wake.
Before we get to the notes, I am not sure who is in charge scheduling ACC games for the Louisville women but I would like a word. At what point is it a good idea to schedule a game in the morning/noon hour? I mean, I guess going to class is only important when you guys say so. I can see if it was the NCAA tournament but it was a regular season game. Someone dropped to ball, but we won so I will stop my complaining. The Louisville women are still a top team and they didn’t seem to mind. Let’s get to the notes before the NCAA reads this and vacates the 2008 season just cause.
Any outbursts from the court and you will be removed by the bailiff, King of the Nerds (@VillaLove502). There is a ton of royalty in CardNation but only one throne and the BHK is sitting on that mofo like Aerys Targaryen for all you Thronies out there. Although there is no Jamie Lannister to stop all this heat I am throwing out. Nonetheless, KOTN has proven to be a true friend to the throne and while I normally make fun of nerds on my timeline, he gets a pass. He is like the Tyrell’s grandmother, seems pretty innocent at first but can end your life in one tweet. BHK and KOTN, album dropping in Summer 18′.
- First things first, round of applause to VJ King. Each year the fanbase has a player that catches the brunt of all the criticism. I too have joined in and voiced my criticism. VJ needed this, and we wanted it for him. 15 points, 4 assists, 2 rebounds, and 2 steals. I would say that’s a hell of a game. One thing is apparent, if VJ hits his first few shots, he is going to have a good game. He is just one of those players that has to get going but once he learns to contribute to the game when his shot is not falling then he will help this team in a big way. He finished around the basket, played defense, and just had fun the other night. I am happy for him, and from the calls we received on the post game show I think the fanbase is as well. Keep it going VJ.
- Deng Adel and Quentin Snider are beginning to embrace their leadership roles on this team. After both had some questionable shots late in the Miami game they realized thier mistakes and bounced back with a nice game against Wake. And yes I am aware it was Wake and they are not very good, BUT to see them improve over the last few games and not resort to old habits is encouraging especially with March right around the corner.
- What would BucketHatology be without me man-crushing on Darius “The Bulldog” Perry?? Jeff Greer wrote a nice piece about the bench celebrations and how this team cheers their asses off no matter what. That kid could have a celebration in an empty room, so you can imagine my excitement when he came in and scored 9 points against Wake. I am telling you, he will get us through some tough times. He is good for the team and the fanbase.
- I have not given a lot of love to Malik Williams but can I just say having him start was a great idea. It did wonders for his confidence and also gives him valuable experience. I also like having Anas come off the bench, they both seem to be playing well.
- While he has not been killing it in the points column, Big Play Ray has still been consistently filling it up in other areas. Rebounds and blocks are his thing and I am not one to tell him it’s not. Like I said about the rest of the team, once they realize they don’t HAVE to score to be effective this team will go far.
- Shout out to the “Air Egypt” Anas Mahmoud. Tossed in 15 points against the Canes, then came back with 9 points against Wake. Anas still catches lobs and looks like Bambi when he does it but as long as the ball goes through the net I couldn’t care less. Ok, I am lying. Watching Anas leap into the air is both majestic and comical. Granted he would dunk on me but I would be laughing the entire time. I am childish.
- Valentine’s day is approaching fellas. I am not saying this so you can buy a gift or make reservations,..things you should have done back in December. I am saying this because you’re you and Ryan McMahon is the guy you should be worried about. Think about it, do you want to have that guy waiting in the wings ready to set the pick and roll on your relationship? I think not. Hell, I am cuffing Mrs. BHK right now as I type this. Not since Chris Redman has a white guy caused so much widespread panic in the city. Just think about it while you’re planning on taking your girl to Chili’s knowing McMahon is on a first name basis with the staff at Jeff Ruby’s. Every time he drains a three pointer someone gets impregnated. With every assist, a couple files for divorce. Chills my bones just thinking about it.
- I see Padgett learned from his Boston College mistake and emptied his bench late. LOL
- Jordan Nwora still has the best hair on the team. Granted, Ryan McMahon had dreadlocks in high but he cut them off to allow the rest of the team to get noticed. I am totally joking about McMahon’s dreadlocks. It was actually a killer perm, don’t question me.
We have reached the portion of the Buckethatology where I have to acknowledge our next opponent, the Virginia Cavaliers, also known as the most uninteresting team in the world. The pompous bastards of the ACC. The rich d-bags in every John Hughes movie. The team that has caused this city more frustration than the geese that reside on Linn Station road. If Tom Brady didn’t go to Michigan, he probably would have attended UVA. The birthplace of the fanny pack and penny loafers. The university that single handily keeps Payless in business. The only fanbase that has allowed Cole slaw to still be a thing. The fanbase that actually enjoyed the HBO series ” John from Cincinnati”.
The fanbase who thinks Kevin is the best character on This Is Us. The fanbase who keeps Miley Cyrus relevant. The fanbase responsible for Sunny D being thick and terrible at the same time. The home of the well done steak with ketchup. Yeah they gave us Ralph Sampson but they also gave us a mascot that looks like a cross between a 70’s pimp and John Oates (Google him and their mascot and tell me I’m lying). UVA is the reason I had Lachlan blocked for so long. UVA is the guy at the gym still doing dead-lifts on the smith machine.
UVA fans are cool I guess, if you can get past the open toed sandals and the overwhelming smell of Drakkar Noir. They have always been pleasant at our football games but then again it’s really hard to be jerks when its only three of you. The rest are normally yelling at the guest relations clerk at Valhalla about their water being too cold. I would keep going on UVA but this is a blog post, not a dissertation. Oh alright, we can go a few more.
UVA is the guy playing guitar in a public setting with no shoes and a greasy man bun. You don’t know whether to tip him or mace him so you just move to another area. UVA is the guy in audience at a Marvel based movie thinking waaaaayyyy too much and tweeting at Stan Lee about everything wrong with the Civil War trailer. UVA complains about the smoke ring on brisket (that one’s for you Biscuit). UVA, the home of the alt-right protests and tiki-torch mafia because nothing screams white supremacy like a Walmart torch, JCPenny polo, knee high shorts, and a Sports Clip haircut. Oh and they are pretty good at basketball too…..
- Okay, back to regularly scheduled programming. I am sick of losing to UVA but man they are good on defense. The pack-line defense is stupid only because Louisville doesn’t use it. In all honesty, it’s actually brilliant and has been Louisville’s kryptonite for the past 4 years although it’s feels like 40. Since Mangok’s shot dropped and we celebrated in the streets of Louisville, UVA has beat us 4 straight times (feels like more doesn’t it?) by scores of 63-47, 68-46, 61-53, and 71-55. Louisville has never scored more than 60 against them, in fact in the Cards only win the final score was 59-57. They are so boring but damn it they win so much. Plus Tony Bennett drives the women wild like a young Ric Flair. Some guys have all the fun…
- I would have thought we would have figured UVA out by now but, nope. And what makes it worse, they will probably be home in the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. Bracket killers I tell ya.
And in closing, it’s time to put all my chips in. The gloves are off. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. I am riding my recent wave of reverse jinxes and standing boldly on the success the team has had the past few weeks:
If Louisville beats UVA on Wednesday, I will sit on my porch in a wife beater and boxer shorts live on Periscope and answer any dumb questions you have for 30 min. It is set to be to 40 degrees that night. This is Louisville, it can easily be snowing that day as well.
— 🏁👑Petty BHKrueger™️👑🏁 (@LJthaFiasc0) January 29, 2018
Yes, it is true. This streak has gone on far too long and I am tired of UVA and their “put you to sleep” style of play. So if the Fighting Padgett’s can roll into the pit of hell tonight and come back to the Ville with a W, then I will do what I promised. I will answer dumb tweets for 30 minutes in nothing but my wife beater and boxers. I will have on my Cardinal house shoes because I have to have SOME dignity. This may be the last time we get to have this much fun with the basketball team so I am going to make the most of it. Life is about sacrifice and I am sacrificing my common sense and immune system for CardNation. Is it crazy?…..yes….(puts on shades)…but crazy is all we’ve got. C-A-RDS GO-CARDS-GO.
Be cool in this hot city.
Court adjourned (bangs gavel)