Whats good everyone? Chaos, Pandemonium, excitement, end of days, city wide hysteria, it’s happening, and I don’t know how the hell to plan for it. I never thought GameDay would actually be here and I’m not sure I’m prepared for Saturday. I don’t think any of us can plan for a first time event such as this but two quotes by Hunter S. Thompson stand out to me, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”, and “Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death”. I would like to formally welcome you all to College GameDay, The Gonzo Tailgate.
What exactly is a Gonzo Tailgate, and what is this fool rambling about are probably running through your brain at this moment and that’s fair, because if we’re being honest, I don’t really know either. Here’s what I do know, it’s going to be weird, not “I still can’t believe ESPN actually came” weird, but cover your children’s eyes, weird. The lot will be an assortment of weirdos, drunks, passed out students who failed to pull an all nighter, old men quoting Howard (really tired of old guys dropping that quote like our fathers haven’t said it every fall of our lives), moms who over imbibed on Bloody Mary’s, children asking “what’s that”, people with their bodies painted, trampolines, and possibly an elephant, if Corso’s in town we need an elephant. If you don’t get that reference, ask the old guy who tells you the Howard quote as if he’s blessing you with some obscure quote, he’ll be more than happy to stretch a sentence into a full beer conversation. People will be camping out on Friday while I determine the best means to fall asleep without using a tranquilizer gun or a brick to the head, I’m far too washed to camp out and be coherent at 3pm on Saturday. I guess what I’m getting at is this will be a tailgate like none other so I figure while we honor Ali at the game, let’s honor another local legend in the parking lot, its more Hunters style, I think.
Now all that said, I’m sure, unfortunately, some of you had to google Dr. Thompson, you probably found a lot about drugs, I am not advocating that aspect of his lifestyle. This is a family site, drugs are bad. I mean Gonzo in the sense that it will be the wild, wild, west, we don’t have a blueprint for any of this lunacy. I talked to friends at schools who regularly have GameDay and it felt like asking your big brother for advice on what to do after prom. It’s all foreign, and it feels like you’re piecing together Ikea furniture without the instructions and a faulty Swiss army knife. I gave up on Wednesday all attempts to piece together any resemblance of an organized game plan, going full Rambo for this one, boys and girls. I’m not grilling or standing in the same area more than thirty minutes because I want to take it all in. I want to walk around doing Cards chants with strangers, I want to eat other peoples’ food for a change, and I am also willing to help you empty your cooler. Noon kickoffs are beer tailgates, drink corn water in serious moderation.
There are a couple things we do know, we need signs. If my friends can get on TV, there will be so many twitter jokes on signs, you can sit laughing audibly while others are confused. Don’t explain it to them, its funnier that way. A good friend of mine can count on one hand how many games he’s missed since PJCS opened. He’s living in Europe during the season, so another buddy printed a fathead of his mug to hold up. You’re there in spirit, Cliff. I’m also certainly pouring beer on the mouth and be all like “heh heh Cliffy sips the beer”. Also need a write up on tailgating abroad from him. Kickoff for last week’s game was 2:30 am their time, bless your dedication. We’ve even had fellow Cards fans who live out of the state send us their image for a sign, Derp you’re getting your dream. IT’S FREAKIN LIT. CCBM’s are a must for tomorrow. Let’s get hundreds of those creepy masks on the screen, it’s fun, and you can also shove it on your kids head when they point at the man in the red spandex body suit and ask “what’s that guy doing”.
The talk on twitter this week has been a lot of arguing about rushing the field, so I’ll break down my thoughts on UofL fans rushing the field in 2016. We are above it. I don’t want to sound hypocritical because I rushed the field when we knocked off WVU, before we won multiple BCS Bowls, and it was a top ten college memory. I think we’ve arrived to a point where we should expect to beat teams when they come to our house. I think it’s a clown move when you have the resume we have. We’ve had a first round pick in three consecutive drafts. We aren’t exactly the new kids anymore. Now with all that being said, students are going to rush that field and I don’t blame them a single bit. My hope for all college students is they get to experience a championship or a field\court rush, because it’s amazing and it encapsulates the unbridled enthusiasm you have for life at that age before the real world crushes your spirit and slowly erodes your soul. You’re only young once, just try not be a dope about it. I can’t begin to estimate how many times I’ve drifted off at work and day dreamed about that game and that moment. It’s easily argued that memory has saved previous supervisors from getting choked out. However, please note I said students, heaven have mercy on your wretched self if I see someone my age or older dancing around the field like a rollicking dolt, if you’re 25 or older, I’m sorry, but you missed the boat. I will screen shoot and dog walk a 30 yr old jerk on the field with students. You’re the 23 yr old guy who brings beer to high school parties, congrats on being horrible, you nailed it, buddy.
It’s going to be a great day, we will party our faces off, then scream our voices into the abyss while cheering Lamborghini and his running mates on to the big win. Let’s get it Cards fans, let’s show up and show out, let’s show them how the Ville throws down for a big game. Earlier this week Clemson’s punter drew some eyes when he said it was louder here than at Auburn. Let’s show them how 55,000 Louisvillian’s get it for a party. All eyes will be watching and I don’t want to live in a world where the Cards lose a game honoring The Greatest. If that happens, I’m mailing the rest of 2016 in. Go Cards Go Krogering and get weird with it.
That Boys Good
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