What’s good, people? Another day, another scandal, another OTL report, another afternoon of glancing at the bottom line ticker on ESPN and shaking our heads, it’s growing tiresome. This seems to be the new life for UofL fans. We have a reckless Governor whose antics placed the school’s accreditation under review. We had a rogue assistant paying for strippers in the school’s dorms resulting in a self-imposed tournament ban. Still waiting to hear how the NCAA decides to punish us, awesome. Last week we had the privilege of outsiders pretend to care about the finances of the city and it’s tax structure. Over the weekend there was a shooting at an off-campus party to celebrate the one good thing to come from this dirty toilet bowl of a year, we apparently can’t have nice things. It’s almost an art the way chaos managed to hijack even the Heisman evening from us. This week Wake Forest released the findings from an investigation into their radio play-by-play guy providing the team’s playbooks to opponents, wait what? This is stranger than fiction, seriously you couldn’t write a weirder story, but somehow Bobby is the only one worth mentioning, par for the course.
Everywhere we go outsiders want to ask us about it as if we enjoy talking about the subject, scandals aren’t like updates on the children or a work promotion; they’re a drag to talk about. I can’t walk down the street to buy a pack of smokes in UofL apparel without someone asking me about this nonsense. Oh hello stranger yes I’d love to discuss misery and turmoil, while we’re at it did you lose a loved one recently and how about the election results? Kick rocks, nerd. How foolish we were to think relatives got all their A material out of the way at Thanksgiving so Christmas would be a little more tolerable, can’t have anything.
“What’s going to happen to Rick? He knew, right? Had to” I don’t even know how to respond to this line of questioning anymore so I’m just going to have some fun with my answers. “What’s going to happen”, not sure, hearing they’re going to burn the campus down and build a coal refinery to better embrace that good ol’ Ky Spirit or whatever raggedy state slogan we have. “Think Rick knew”, well obviously Rick was the mastermind behind this lucrative and well financed endeavor, you dolt. “What’s going to happen to Jurich’s legacy, Floyd St. is as crooked as cousin Betty’s spine since the mule kicked her”, yea don’t quote me yet but my sources say Tom will pour four fingers of Pappy and do the Luke Hanckcock “For The Haters” hand gesture in his bear skin hoody he crafted with his own hands after slaying the beast with those same hands. Ben Carson isn’t the only guy with gifted hands, folks. “That Yum deal the city set up with the University is shameful”, yea well you got me there, welp, thanks for the money?
I’m going to have fun with this because there is absolutely nothing else to do when others make up their mind about you. Embrace it; embrace the hate, the vitriol, the slander, the speculation, all of it. In the immortal words of Reggie Noble, aka Redman, “I’ll Be Dat”. I’m not going to waste my time arguing with people who have biases, that’s a waste of time I could be enjoying life. I’m not going to defend the actions of others so quit talking to me like I’m out here shooting up parties full of strippers on campus with Wake Forest’s playbook in my back pocket while personally counting all your tax dollars I received, slack-jaw. Instead I’m fully prepared to embrace it, all of it, I am ready to swap out colors so black is the primary school color.
Growing up I was a huge fan of The U and their decline has left a void in my heart. For years I thought it was a sports void, nah that blank space was for hate. There’s something wildly fascinating to me about the way schools, programs, and teams at all levels garner pure hatred from everyone outside their area code. I’m built for this, Bane may have been forged from the darkness while others merely adopted it, but I was forged from hate. Seriously my pops throws shade like a mighty oak tree. Last week I got a winner from coal country to simultaneously argue poor counties deserved tax dollars from Louisville while also stating his tax dollars shouldn’t go to welfare or other forms of assistance. Like I said, this can be fun if you let it.
This is where we are, grab a stool or find a stoop, pour a drink in your favorite stadium cup and master the ability to shrug your shoulders, raise an eyebrow, and say “oh well”. Don’t let these sanctimonious dopes get you down, laugh at their frustration. Laugh at their frustration they still can’t stop the train from rolling no matter how much they post, tweet, call the radio station, or my favorite; the people who still interact via journalist’s mailbags. The same people who manufactured excuses to hate on the program for years now have real reasons and that’s a pain but those reasons don’t improve their IQ’s or credit scores, so EL OH EL at them. They will tell you that you are scum for supporting such a renegade program so I need you to laugh and respond “B please, I’m not the cat with his favorite Bible scripture in his bio telling kids to jump off a bridge because they picked Kansas, ya scallywag”.
Realizing no perennially ranked program is just or morally superior to their peers is like men coming to terms with their hairline receding. Everyone comes to this conclusion at their own rate and has to accept it when they’re ready, don’t be the fan with a comb-over, pull out the clippers and laugh. Go Cards and Go Krogering.
That Boys Good
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