Below are my top 5 things to avoid when dealing with Clemson fans this weekend.  If you steer clear of these topics, and CU wins the game, you should have no issues dealing with them.  If Louisville wins, you are probably screwed regardless.

  1. Purell – Any fan base that openly embraces the three knuckle deep tendencies of its players against opponents during a game is probably not the fan base you want to shake hands with.  Go ahead and google “Clemson Ass Play” images (I’ll wait) and you will quickly see why the new logo for the Tigers is the “Poo paw”.

  2. Don’t mention the Heisman.  For that matter, don’t mention the following Nissan, anyone named John, Lamar, Deshaun, Jackson, Watson, New York City, Trophy, or any other potential buzzwords that may piss off the boys in orange.  Unfortunately, a National Championship and ACC Championship wasn’t enough for them.  Some people.

  3. Speakers, microphones, loud noise makers, artificial noise makers, fake noise, flashing lights, strobe lights, things that are loud, things that are shiny, and kittens.  Okay, I was just checking to see if you were actually reading on that last part.  The gang from Clemson is a bit sensitive to the proven fact that they “pipe in” their noise.  Numerous photos have surfaced on the internet which clearly depict the microphones in the crowd.  One would only assume that these microphones are placed there for some reason.  Suggestions that it is to gain an unfair advantage have been met with stern resistance. Although the link above clearly shows that CU fans themselves don’t like the artificial sound.  I suppose all is forgiven when you win the Natty. Just to be safe, may want to avoid that topic with them…

  4. Do not mention to Clemp-son fans that the “Real Death Valley” is in Baton Rouge.  This is a real pisser for the orange clad supporters of the sodomites.  I mean, see #3 above about how loud it is in Clemp-son.  Surely this proves that South Carolina is the home of Death Valley.  Unfortunately, it does not. Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge opened in 1924, while Memorial Stadium in Clemson opened 18 years later.  Sorry CU fans, it appears that you are the knock-off, the Big Mic, the McDowell’s of the football world.  In short, you are a day late and a dollar short.  No real Death Valley for you guys.

  5.  Sideline security.  Probably don’t want to mention sideline security to a Tiger fan this weekend.  Apparently, gaining access to the field in Clemson is as easy….  Well, let’s just say it’s pretty freaking easy.  First, our own Mark Blankenbaker captures a “seasoned citizen” copping a squat on the U of L bench 3 years ago, and now a CU student made a fake press pass to gain access to the field for last week’s Auburn game.

So, there you have it Cards fans.  5 sure fire measures that should keep you from offending the fine gentlemen from South Carolina.  Or you could take my approach; “screw em”.  Go Cards!!!



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Keith Poynter

Keith Poynter graduated from the Louis D. Brandeis School of Law in May of 2011. While in law school, Keith studied Sports Law as well as other core curriculum. Prior to becoming an attorney, Keith worked in the insurance industry for 6 years, and was a police officer in both Kentucky and Tennessee for 6 years. As an avid sports fan, former basketball official and current youth sports coach, Keith is heavily involved in sports when not at work or with his family at the lake. Keith's diverse background makes him an excellent source for legal opinion about issues surrounding the sporting world. Whether the matter be criminal or contractual, Keith's unique experience and education allows him to offer insight that may be missed by the casual fan. Keith is available for commentary on any legal issues that may arise in the Kentuckiana area and will routinely post articles concerning local and national sports law topics.

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