What’s good, people? Well, we survived an unimpressive blowout and escaped without any major injuries, so we got that going for us, which is nice. I say unimpressive because it wasn’t the firework show we’ve come to expect as fans, which is perfectly understandable given the fashion we went upside FSU’s head in. So that’s it, we survived the “trap game”. I hate that term because I don’t think well coached teams have those losses. It’s an excuse, it’s another “well a video game was released this week”, it’s a comment losers make when they fail to maintain order. Enough about that though because it’s Clemson week. A month ago we were outraged that GameDay would assuredly pass over on us, again, but a month can be an eternity in a football season and we’re getting two in three weeks. I can’t feel my face.
Clemson week is weird for me and I assume a lot of older fans will agree with me on why. We have no established hatred with any of our conference mates. I’ve always relied on Memphis State and Cincy to be a rallying point of hatred. I don’t hate any of our new conference mates, I either respect them or consider them irrelevant. For example, I respect Clemson, I snicker at BC. I need a school to rise up and do something incredibly tasteless and fill the void in my life that those bums in Memphis created by being an incompetent doormats. No clue who their AD is but apparently he’s a sentient potato. I hate you so much, Memphis State.
Outside of a dude on Twitter, Clemson fans are awesome. They travel well, tailgate like champs, praise the replacement of Maryland with us, and seem to be all around decent fans. You can’t walk through their tailgates without receiving well wishes, booze, and food. Good people. They have an amazing coach who I can’t help but like, even when I don’t agree with him. They have a great team. Well coached, disciplined freaks all over the defensive side, and explosions in progress on offense. They were the runner ups last season and came into this season with everyone’s favorite QB. They have every reason to be pompous blowhards yet they aren’t. UofL fans, take note of how to handle success without a Little Guy Complex manifesting within the fan base.
Saturday night Bobby rolls into the other Death Valley with a talented but young offense and I keep hearing Adrian from Rocky screaming “YOU CAN’T WIN! HE’S TOO STRONG FOR YOU”. Don’t get me wrong, I love our Cards but this is a different animal to tackle. The team was visibly disturbed by the environment at Marshall and I’m positive that stadium only had like a dozen more people than my buddy John had at his house to watch the game. The O-line struggled; they had some miscues that can be attributed to lack of communication. Sweet Jesus how many early snaps will that crowd force? Dropped passes have plagued us all year it just hasn’t slowed us down much. I keep envisioning a drunk TBG ranting about drops to my poor dog at two AM while I watch for the third time. My dog doesn’t deserve this and quite frankly neither do I.
I can’t help but question if FSU just isn’t the team we’ve come to expect from Jimbo. It’s not the craziest notion. They have a freshman QB and their defense is a soaking wet napkin. It’s hard to feel as good about our showing when you see USF cracked the code, run straight up the middle. That’s it, run dives all day and meets your buddy in the end zone for a high five or on the sideline for a Gatorade, it’s pretty simple. So if FSU isn’t a traditional FSU team what does that game mean? Absolutely nothing if we get whipped. It will be the coolest moment we failed to capitalize on. This is the pressure that comes with hype. We enter the game as of now as the favorites per Vegas and if you don’t think that won’t motivate fans and players to turn all the way up and dial it in, I don’t know what to tell you. I just don’t think UofL has the pedigree yet, winning is a process and this team doesn’t have a win like this game. I just don’t see it happening this weekend but hey, it’s been an exciting month of football and nobody can take that from us.
Now before you storm the gates of TBG Manor with torches and pitchforks, do me favor? Print this out, grab a UofL fan, grab a waste basket, and track down a Clemson fan. Now read this post to the Clemson fan while your cohort sneaks up and positions the waste basket over his head, WAD THIS TRASH UP AND DUNK ON THAT FOOL! Did y’all really think I was serious? Its game week and I don’t give a single damn how nice those problematic turds from South Carolina are. Can’t wait to see how nice they are when we walk up and drop a cinder block on their faces while they nap in their hammocks. I’m over their smug grins. I keep hearing “ derp, derp our defense, derp, derp our QB”. Your QB? Folks don’t want to play big bank takes little bank with UofL fans in that area. Seriously these nerds in my mention’s acting they have an actual championship pedigree and I just keep hearing Tony Stark reply “oh yeah, well we have a Hulk”.
Clemson, we are coming and we are taking it from you. Nobody in Red or White cares that your stadium is really spooky at night. Nobody cares about your dumb rock either. Make fun of us for Papa John all you want but that hoosier gave us a grip of cash so we put his name on the stadium, you dorks worship a damn rock. Clemson fans have been making terrible jokes about Louie our mascot. “Who would be scared of a bird, its not intimidating”. Are you soft serves telling me a man in a mascot uniform is intimidating, ever? Sleep with a night light on fan base. At least mock the bird for having teeth. There’s an Always Sunny joke just laying out there but you herbs are probably watching Big Bang Theory DVD’s. Besides, I’ll take a bird with teeth over a goofy Tiger who appears to be tripping on a cheap South Carolina designer drug cut with Drain-O.
I’ve been pretty silent all week on twitter because I figured I’d get it all out here. So there it is, let’s get it. Stay undefeated on GameDay and Go Cards and Go Krogering.
That Boys Good
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