“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”

I asked last week if you were sure you wanted to cheer for Louisville. I am going to ask this week if you’re sure you want to have years shaved off your life.

Louisville went from dropping a game it couldn’t afford to drop, to beating a team few expected them to. I don’t want to make fun of mental health by any means but this team is bipolar as hell at times. We will get to the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde later but I would like to think that part of my high blood pressure stems from Louisville basketball and not from my love of food.

But alas, here I am year in and year out doing the same thing over and over because like you, I love the game of basketball. I am married to Cardinal basketball. Like most marriages, its till death does us part. And although at times I want a divorce, I can’t picture myself actually walking away. Like you, I am too vested.

So lets’s get to the notes and address what went wrong on Wednesday followed by what went unexpectedly right on Saturday.

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Any outbursts from the courtroom and you will be removed by @BubbaMack6 . Yes he is a dog, but don’t focus on that. No, you cannot pet him. He is not a service dog but he also does not give his consent for your to put your filthy paws (pun intended) on him. What you can do, is get this work from him. He does not take kindly to Louisville basketball slander and he was raised on “mom” jokes so if you are feeling froggy leap. When a stripper joke leads to you getting owned by a dog before 2pm on a Saturday I would say you’ve lost in life.

  • The Pitt loss was one of the most frustrating losses I have ever witnessed aside from what happened to the Louisville Women in South Bend-Over. Louisville couldn’t stay in front of anyone and then they couldn’t stop Pitt’s true freshman Trey McGowens. Then the second half began and Louisville couldn’t miss a shot. Louisville fought back three times from double digit deficits only to fall in overtime. What was frustrating is that Pitt was begging Louisville to beat them and the Cards just couldn’t oblige. We are used to seeing some great defense from Louisville so you can imagine the anger in the BHK household.
  • Love the fight of this team. There is a constant feeling during each game they are never out of it. Doesn’t matter the deficit, this team is scrappy and will continue to fight the entire 40 minutes. We have had some great comebacks over the years but it says something that this team, which was not expected to do much in Mack’s first year has fought they way they have. Future is bright.
  • Boy, am I glad we called Christen Cunningham. He came up huge against Pitt and has been the straw that stirs our drink this season. Without him I don’t want to imagine what our record would be. I wish he had one more season here. Would love to see how he would work with the Super Six next season.
  • 1800-Dwayne is a real thing and its about time you all started treating it as such. The guy is a walking Walmart for Louisville. You go to him for one thing and you come out with a near triple double. The swiss army knife was up to his BS again Saturday finishing with 17pts, 10 rebounds, and 7 assists. 9 of those rebounds were on the defensive end. He is an irreplaceable player and if he continues on this trend Louisville will win more games. He reminds me of another local product, that being Larry O’Bannon. Just scrappy and always resourceful.
  • Jordan Nwora did not have the greatest game against Pitt, but you would have never known judging by how he came out against UNC. The sophomore finished with 17 points and 3 rebs, the majority of those points coming from behind the arc. When he is on, he is on. I still say that if his defense and passing improves Nwora can be a possible 1st rounder one day in the draft. Selfishly I want him to stay here forever but what can you do?
  • Welcome back big Steve Enoch……er….excuse me he is no longer called that. Courtesy of Good Time Charlie, blogger for the good folks over at Big Red Louie, I have been instructed to call him “Enochness Monster” going forward. How does one respond to losing their starting job? If your Enoch you follow a 14 point, 7 rebound game against Pitt with a 17 point, 11 rebound game against one of the best rebounding teams in the ACC. With the way Malik Williams is playing I kind of like having Enoch come off the bench going forward. Seems to be working out well and why mess with a good thing right?
  • For all the struggles he has gone through here lately I want to give props to Darius Perry for his play against UNC. The turnovers aside, he played well. He was robbed of a beautiful block on Luke Maye. Just want him to slow down when running point and not force things so much. The bulldog remains one of the BHK’s favorites on the team.
  • Props to VJ and Kwan Fore for doing the intangible things. VJ played some nice defense while on the floor as did Fore. Neither is going to light up the scoring column but it appears that both are just trying to help the team in any way they can. Everyone on this team has a part to play and yesterday was a prime example of what it looks like when they do play it well.
  • Ryan “Marriage-Killer” McMahon hit a shot from Charlotte yesterday and in doing so he is now the father of 20 children born in N.C nine months from now. The Sarasota assassin continues to know no range and poured in 8 points in the UNC game. Although I really wanted him to hit one of those two missed threes he had in the Pitt game, I don’t think he has room on his plate for more angry husband mail. Forget surviving R. Kelly, I am just trying to survive Ryan’s eligibility.
  • I don’t know whether to be pissed that ESPN switched to the Duke/FSU game early or impressed because the score was so lopsided. Either way it goes, it was a Tobacco Roadkill of the Heels. (Don’t bite that, I may use it later).

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I will now open the courtroom for questioning and or statements:

Tammaland (@Tammaland): How do you feel about our chances against UNC at home? Wouldn’t a sweep this season be cool?

A sweep would be a godsend. I would be SHOCKED if UNC does not come to the YUM! in February looking for blood. I don’t know if we can duplicate our performance but I think Mack and staff will review tape and see what worked and try to see if they can pull another rabbit out of the hat. You have to think Ol’ Roy is not going to let his worse home loss ever go unnoticed. If Louisville were to sweep UNC I think I would feel confident that we will be a tournament team. However, UNC has to keep winning to make Saturday’s win keep sparkling.

Randolph Scott (@ahowe40204): Do you think Roy Williams has much more time left in coaching?

I don’t. The vertigo seems to be playing a big part in his coaching and he had another dizzy spell in this game. He is a hall of fame coach with several championships under his belt already. I think he has two years left, tops. Unlike Jim Boeheim who seems have checked out already, Roy is still coaching hard but his health is an concern at this pop. Unfortunately he does not have the luck of Coach K who doesn’t seem to be anywhere near retiring.

Tattooed Lindy (@jclindeman): Do you think this team will ever stop playing down to its opponent?

Lord I hope so. The slow starts are extremely frustrating and we saw how bad it can get if the Cards don’t take every opponent seriously. I am hoping the Pitt loss was a wake-up call for the team and hopefully when they spot an over-matched opponent they dominate and leave no doubt.

Jason Sanders: How much things have changed from this time yesterday.

Well I have showered and eaten. I got some quality sleep this weekend as well. The Cowboys and Colts lost in the playoffs so the world was spared another week of hearing from their fans. WLKY is still trash. On Saturday’s broadcast they spoke about a huge win for the Cards for all of two minutes. They then spent a lengthy amount of time talking about that team down the road’s win over Vandy. True Detective is back, and I am so happy. After the second season disaster I am hoping Mahershala Ali can save season three. We lost a recruit and gained another one. Tate Martell could be a Card and I may have to walk back all the shade I threw his way. Baseball remains terrible, my wife remains awesome, and I have lost four pounds. I hope that answers your question, if not deal with it.

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Person(s) or things who earned a seat at the Kansai Hibachi grill:

  • Jordan Nwora
  • Steve “Enochness Monster” Enoch
  • Swiss Army knife Sutton
  • Chris Mack’s interview skills at halftime
  • CC’s court vision
  • Donovan Mitchell putting guys on posters
  • Louisville football’s bowling trip
  • Good Time Charlie nicknames
  • Snow that doesn’t stick
  • $1.97 gas

Person(s) or things who earned day old, soon to be tossed in the trash, Panda Express:

  • Any referee who officiates an NCAA Women’s b-ball game
  • Arike Ogunbowale’s kicking
  • Flagrant one fouls being called for hooking
  • Luke Maye’s fouling immunity
  • PITT basketball choosing last Wednesday to be relevant again
  • Bandwagon NFL fans. (Mostly Dallas bandwagon fans)
  • Dick Vitale yelling everything.
  • WLKY’s Louisville b-ball coverage
  • The planned “Coming to America” sequel. Stop messing with classics.
  • Dixie Hwy construction. Finish it or don’t, just wrap it up.
  • Matt McGavic (just because)
  • Progressive insurance commercials. Flo was already annoying enough, now we have this guy….

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And in closing Louisville has two winnable games coming up this week. On Wednesday they will come home to face Boston College and then on Saturday they will head to ATL to face Georgia Tech. Tech knocked off Syracuse over the weekend and I am not sure how great that is being Cuse is a dumpster fire right now.

Needless to say, the Cards have to have both of these games to improve in the conference. The consensus is 10 wins in the ACC gets us in. I am going to say if Louisville gets to 9 wins they should be good. Michigan State hasn’t lost since they visited the YUM! in November. That win is looking better and better as the time passes. Cards must take care of business while they have the chances. Unfortunately there are no more Central Arkansas’ left on the schedule.

Being that next Monday is MLK day, BucketHatology will return next Tuesday. Hopefully the next time you read this Louisville is 13-5 and 4-1 in the conference. Until next time folks.

Be cool in this hot city

Court adjourned (bangs gavel)

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