“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”
You’re wondering why I have the film projector set up in the courtroom today and why the chairs have been moved to resemble movie day in middle school. Today’s court date will be a bit different from what you are used to. I will also be drinking throughout this hearing. Why you ask? Because I am a Louisville fan and nothing matters anymore that’s why. In the words or Joe Kelly, “I am numb and raw”. Any hope I had was crushed when a 25 foot shot banked high off the glass and dropped through, the rest was poured down the drain two days later.
Here is re-enactment of me last week when we lost a 5 point lead in under one second in a loss to UVA when the game was all but over and all the Cards had to do was not foul, not travel, and inbound the ball. They failed on all three:
As you see, I have completely lost my sh*t. What’s next? We gonna get a technical because we spill water on the court by mistake. Nothing surprises me anymore. One of our players could take a crap on the mid court logo and I would chuckle and keep it moving.
Before we sink any further into the abyss, let me wish the Louisville Women a heartfelt congrats for capturing the ACC tournament championship. Add that to the regular season championship and there ya go. Sky is the limit for this group. I hope they make it the Final Four and even if they don’t this city is extremely proud of all they have accomplished. As I have said before, they have been a constant bright spot in a season where it has been one disappointment after another. Thank you Cards.
Let’s just get to the notes. I have things to address, a fanbase to defend, and people to piss off. At least I will have fun doing all three.
Any outbursts from the court and you will be removed by the bailiff @iWILLrepTheVill who is a true friend to the throne. We have all had tough moments as Card fans, we have all had reasons to quit on this team, we have all had an excuse to jump on the bandwagon of another team. But we continue to come back, cheer like its out last time ever, and rep the Cards whenever the moment calls for it which is 24/7/365. His user name personifies the portion of the fanbase that I identify with…..the DIE-HARDS. Salute to you bro.
- My heart breaks for Q and Anas more than anyone on the team. I can’t think of a group of UofL seniors that were forced to go through so much hell with few glimpses of heaven than these two. We all just wanted both to have a fitting end to their senior year but apparently that was too much to ask for the basketball gods. They deserved better, they deserved way better. This sucks, and I would not wish this on our worst enemy. I can only hope both experience a nice run in the ACC tournament and get one last chance to make the NCAA tournament. For now, that seems far fetched.
- I am not upset about Jordan Nwora, I am pissed about him. I grew accustomed to Pitino squandering talent and letting guys rot on the bench but I thought Nwora showed promise in nearly every game he was in this year. I am not in practice and I don’t see what this staff sees, but as a fan I cannot see any reason that young man should not be seeing the court. He has sat for two straight games while other players have jacked up more shots than a 3 point shooting contest. And don’t give me that “his defense is not there” excuse. Nwora is not great on defense but I have seen some guys make the same mistakes and they are getting 19-20 minutes a game. I have not been overly critical of Coach Padgett but I feel he dropped the ball big time on this one. I would not be shocked at all if Nwora transfers, and it will suck when he is lighting up the scoreboard elsewhere. I hope I am wrong and he is back in a Louisville jersey next season.
- The Malik Williams mystery continues. I know Slick Rick told Doug E. Fresh that in 6 minutes he was on but that should not translate to Louisville basketball. Malik has been on the court 6 minutes the past two games combined. You have to get these guys minutes, you just have to find a way to get him on the court. It is puzzling to see our rotations and subbing patterns especially since we have such a talented team that we refuse to use at times.
- I really want Ryan McMahon to break out of his slump. We could really use him in today’s game against FSU. If you remember, McMahon was essential in the 17 point comeback in Tallahassee. It’s not that he is shooting terribly but it has not been as efficient as it was earlier in the year. One thing I can say about McMahon is that his defense has improved over the past few games. I really hope he goes bonkers today and scorches the nets. This is the part where I drop a corny March pun “Heroes are made in March”.
- Darius “The Bulldog” Perry has been our best on-ball defender along with Dwayne Sutton. Both have gotten much deserved playing time. Perry committed one of the Cardinal sins when he fouled a three point shooter rather than backing way and letting him shoot a 30 footer that would have ended the game. Perry has been the heart of this team all year and a reason to hope for good things in the future. I hate that he made a bone-head play and I hope he gets a chance to redeem himself today in Brooklyn.
- I am not going to turn this in a bashing Deng session. I am frustrated as you are in his play the past few games. We all know what happened in the UVA game, I get that. But Saturday was the wrong time for Adel to go all “Carmelo” on us. The last 9 min of the game with the Cards up by 4 points Deng began taking some terrible shots, driving into defenders, and most important he forgot he was on a team. If I had a dollar for each time I yelled “pass the ball” on Saturday I would have enough to cover the bar tab in the YUM! I understand Deng wants to get to the NBA and watching his good friends Mangok and Donovan make NBA rosters last year was extra motivation. But scouts don’t care about points, you have to be able to play defense, pass the ball, rebound, etc. Not sure if the staff is telling him the same thing or just letting him do what he wants. It’s tough to watch and I think the final straw was in the NC State game judging by the calls that we fielded on the Coor’s Light post game call-in show. Against FSU, Deng has to pass the ball and take better shots. Better shots does not mean ALL the shots.
- Big Play Ray is frustrated as we all are. At times, the team forgets that he is on the court and forget to pass it inside. He could dominate the game if we would let him but sometimes we shy away from him. We forget how our bread is buttered.
- I am not going to say anything about VJ King. A guy who didn’t have to wear a Louisville jersey, who could have went elsewhere and not faced the criticism that he has. We are at the point of the season where VJ is getting blamed for everything even when he is not on the court. Think to yourself….how fair is that?
- Yes, I have seen the pics of the billboard and just like everything else in the state of Indiana I am confused by it. For one, why is it in Southern Indiana and not near the campus? Secondly, I can imagine Postel and Grissom couldn’t care less about a billboard especially since they are not crossing the bridge to see it. I am not a fan of either but I am also not donating money to put a billboard across the Ohio river. Swing and a miss guys….
Welp, I have stalled long enough. Last Thursday, on Louisville’s Senior Night………..let me say that again….”LOUISVILLE’S SENIOR NIGHT”, two slappies decided to dress up in Walmart branded UK gear and attend the game. No problem right? I mean if there are no UK fans at our games then we would be surprised. Well, these two decided to up the ante because the smedium hoodies they wore were obviously not enough. They decided to do this:
— Depressed Duerr (@BBN_Forever) March 2, 2018
Man, they went all out for this moment to troll UofL gans2. They even got matching stomachs. 👀 pic.twitter.com/Sztdgx9baH
— 🏁👑LJ tha Fiasco™️👑🏁 (@LJthaFiasc0) March 3, 2018
They painted up to go to their rivals game. They painted up to go to a game where Kentucky was not playing. How sad is your life?? Don’t answer that, I already have proof from the above pic. I am more disturbed that he is licking his lips like his phone is made out of Cal’s boxer shorts. And the funny thing is, I scrolled through the misery that is your page and found that these pics got the same amount of likes my great aunt’s page would if she posted a pic of her ferret. Both of you look like you smell like disappointment and cat litter. You were so desperate for attention and in such a rush to impress BBN that you fell flat. So, let me help you out buddy. I hope this post and the next few pics boost not only your likes, but your followers as well. Here we go:
Guess where you’re heading? Hopefully to a shower and your granny’s basement where you escaped from. You remind me of the privileged kid who grew up in the suburbs and takes pics in the bathroom holding guns and knives. What a nerd. You probably blast all kinds of gangsta rap on the way to work then turn it down and lock your doors when you pull up beside minorities. Most guys try to make an impression on women, not a UK based website. Even BBN is laughing at you for this. You did all of this to get the attention of a website? Are you serious fam? You should have just come to me, I would have helped you out. I would have just posted this:
Nothing says high school grad like some run down sneakers and gang signs. How hard did your granny laugh when you posed for this pic? What gang do you belong too? Asking for a fanbase bro, I am worried about getting jumped by the John Deere Mafia or the Hot Pocket Boys. I don’t know whether to show pity or show remorse for putting you in this blog but at least your follower count will increase and this pic will get you more likes. The BHK is for the people, that includes members of the Ponderosa gang. Ok, that’s enough, I will let you be. ………..Nah, we can go a few more.
What kind of cut off tee-shirt did you sport under this gown sir? $20 bucks says its either a Tap Out or Affliction shirt. Something tells me you call yourself an MMA fighter because you can put your little cousins in headlocks. Something tells me you this is your pose for every pic you take no matter what because you saw Ja Rule do it in the early 2000’s and NO ONE is cooler than Ja. Something tells me you rock wave caps with a fitted hat and listen to Bubba Sparxxx’s first album on repeat. Something tells me you work at the only surviving video store in the state. Look at how serious you are trying to be in this pic.
Holy hell this post writes itself. We don’t need guidance counselors in high school, we just need this pic with a sign above it that says “Your future if you don’t get your sh*t together”. Fam looks like he rushed and was passed over for every frat on UK’s campus so he started his own frat but all they do is make videos of side boobs. I bet you cried when the Undertaker lost at Wrestlemania for the first time.
Shoes say a lot about a man. Judging by this pic, your shoes suggest you are both homeless and a pervert for some reason. Your shoes would get you banned from every skate park in the nation. I am dying laughing because I know after this pic you, granny, Uncle Joe, and your parents had navigated through the rough streets of Crestwood to eat a celebration dinner at Rafferty’s where you drenched your steak in ketchup. This pic will forever brighten my day. Godspeed son….let me stop before the Hot Brown Mafia shows up at my door.
- He is licking his lips in one pic and repping the Kentucky Speedway mobsters in another. Christ almighty I have not laughed like this in a while.
And in closing we officially have two losses left. One loss today and we are in the NIT, there is no way around it. A good chunk of the fanbase were finished after that shot last week, the others were done on Saturday night around 8pm. We are all fatigued and exhausted in what has been the longest most stress filled seasons since Crum’s final year. As a die hard fan, it has been rough. I will continue to be a fan regardless just as I will find a way to watch the game today from work. I am out of optimism and that hurts to type. The football season was draining enough and we all put our stock into basketball only to see that get compromised. As I said, I am numb to everything that happens for the rest of this season.
Padgett will be a head coach next season, and if that is not here then wherever he goes he will do well. All I hope is that we don’t lose our team in the off-season. That would be tough to stomach. I want to extend a special thanks and job well done to Coach David Padgett. I stopped calling him “interim” weeks ago. He proved he was a capable coach when he orchestrated a 17 point comeback against FSU and beat Notre Dame for the first time at their house since the Clinton administration. It is not an easy job to follow one, let alone two HOF coaches and while things could be better I believe he did a hell of a job given the circumstances. If this is goodbye, I am standing and applauding David. It was an honor having you step in when this fanbase faced adversity.
The sport that has brought us so much joy over the years is now driving a stake through our hearts. While it is hard to get excited for March Madness, I can assure you that the die hards have not given up. We are weary, but not defeated. I think in the end, we just want something to smile about, but more importantly we just want this team to have one feel good moment this year. Just one.
Go Cards. Beat FSU, then everybody else.
Be cool in this hot city.
Court adjourned (bangs gavel)
……….that pic tho LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.