“ALL RISE!!! Court is now in session. The honorable Bucket Hat King LJ tha Fiasco presiding. Please be seated and come to order”
Some things will never get old. Rolling over in the middle of the night and realizing you have four more hours of sleep before your alarm goes off. Standing in line at the store and then having a cashier tell you that they can take you next. Getting all green lights on Shelbyville road during rush hour……okay that may be impossible but you catch my drift.
Becoming bowl eligible will never get old no matter what. Even if you are going to the Bone-in Wings bowl sponsored by Rooster’s, at least you are going. That extra month of practice really helps.
The BHK is back after a much needed week off from writing this recap. After a trip to Kansas City, Missouri and a heavy consumption of BBQ and Top Golf I am relaxed and letting out the proverbial woo-sah. For the first time all year, football on Saturday was fun to watch. I didn’t think it would come in the tenth game of the season, but I am just happy that it finally did.
With that sixth win guaranteeing a bowl game, and the fact that we are all rested, I am going to finally be able to write this using little to no profanity. Namaste……..
Any outbursts from the court and you will be removed by my agent Tammy f*cking 2K or as you have come to know her…..@TheTammaland. She has been through some tough times the past few months, but like a true Louisvillian she keeps moving along. Welcome back Tammy2K, you were missed. To the notes…..
- That is what a healthy team looks like. We have not seen a healthy Louisville team since media day so it felt good to see some injured Cards back on the field. A healthy Malik Williams who looked like he was done for the year after the injury in the NC State game. A healthy Dae Williams who is coming off a frigging ACL tear. A healthy Jaire Alexander who has been banged up all year. Drew Bailey, healthy and disruptive. I hate to play the “what-if” game but you have to think if you had those guys at 100% we may be looking at more wins this year. Glad they all are back.
- Shout-out to the Louisville Defense. The finally played with the intensity and fire that the fans have craved all season long. Guys flying to the ball, defensive pass rushes, sacks, turnovers, limiting mistakes. It was a thing of beauty and I am just happy for those guys. I have been a huge critic of their coach the past month but I am just glad the players got some praise.
- I am not sure how much of this was coaching. As I mentioned earlier the Cards have been banged up on defense for what seems like the entire season. Jaire being back gave them a new wrinkle and also helped lock down one side of the field. It was great to see guys gang tackling as well, when there was a stop there were at least 4 guys running to the ball. And for as much as he has been criticized, it was good to see Trumaine Washington knock down a deep pass when it appeared he was about to get burned for a TD.
- Lamar. Simply Lamar. Let me go ahead and say that he won’t repeat as the Heisman winner. Louisville’s record is not great and that is a huge factor in it. But if he is not a Heisman finalist then there should be an investigation. First guy in NCAA history with back to back 3,000 passing / 1,000 rushing games is all the stats we need. Everyone is in love with Baker Mayfield but let’s show some respect….
- The stadium was flat and the crowd was flatter during pregame on Saturday. I think we should go the Clemson route and just pump in fake crowd noise for senior day. Of course, the intro video and play of the team the past few weeks does not help. I suggest we just skip the intro video and play this on a loop instead:
What a moment.
Teddy Bridgewater was emotional in his first game back since his horrific knee injury. pic.twitter.com/6sXIZ7BGJT
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) November 12, 2017
- Look, I don’t have kids yet so I can’t tell you how to raise yours but shoutout to the kid who came dressed from head to toe in Louisville gear and then ripped off his Radcliff jersey to don his UVA hoody as soon as the Cavaliers took the field. I asked him if he liked both and he replied “I was born in Virginia” in a douchey tone. His dad just shook his head and smiled. Way to go bro, your son is on pace to wear Jesus sandals year round and remind everyone that Tina Fey and Katie Couric are famous UVA alums. For what it’s worth he spent the game taking pics of the UVA cheer team.
- Louisville got a good deal on fireworks. That is what I keep telling myself. We shot off fireworks for everything on Saturday. I think I saw some after I used the bathroom at halftime. I expect the Syracuse game to look like Thunder over Louisville. Can’t take them with you……
- Shout out to James Hearns and Jonathan Greenard. Hearns was set to have a huge year but that has not quite translated on the field this year. It was nice to see him and Trevon Young wreaking havoc in the backfield. I want to give credit to Drew Bailey being back in the lineup as well. Greenard is going to be a star here, mark it down.
- Dae Williams tore his ACL in the Spring folks. He is not supposed to be doing what he is doing. Ya know, running over guys, averaging nearly 6.0 yards per carry, dragging defenders with him. We are all happy for him and I hope it translates to an even bigger year next season.
- Reggie Bonnafon needs to remain as our punt returner for the final two regular season games and the bowl game. I am happy for him because I hated seeing him not be able to find a home on the offense. He looked great returning punts on Saturday and we need more of that even if it is for a few more games.
- What in the hell is a Hoo? I could google it but I don’t care enough to type it in my search bar. Someone let me know when you find out.
- A few weeks ago I was asked by someone why I had Lachlan McLean blocked on Twitter. He has since been unblocked but let me explain again with two tweets:
And this is why I will never take UVA fans serious. pic.twitter.com/5Kfeg388vf
— 👑 LJ tha Married Man 👑 (@LJthaFiasc0) November 11, 2017
UVA fans, let me introduce you to a thing called tennis shoes. pic.twitter.com/x378DFHm9q
— 👑 LJ tha Married Man 👑 (@LJthaFiasc0) November 11, 2017
And Exhibit C:
For the record, the starter jacket was pretty awesome. Brings me back to my Noe Middle school days back when everyone had one and I couldn’t get one because my mom made me choose between that and a Sega. Sonic the Hedgehog was worth it, I regret nothing.
But I blocked Lach because I didn’t want to read his tweets when UVA basketball continues to “fundamental” us to death twice a year. I refuse to show respect to a fanbase that has single handily kept TJ Maxx in business. UVA fans are the pompous bastards in every 80’s film growing up. It doesn’t stop there either, let’s see:
- Johnny in Karate Kid, Virginia grad.
- Each villain in the Revenge of the Nerds movies, Virginia grads.
- Lori from The Walking Dead, Virginia grad
- Tom Crean, Virginia grad.
- The guy who created pumpkin spice, Virginia grad.
- The rival baseball team in The Sandlot. Virginia grads.
- Alex Jones, Virginia grad.
- The ref who missed the Patrick Sparks travel call in 2004, Virginia grad.
Don’t @ me.
- I don’t know what it is about Lyft drivers and me but I am not so lucky in that area. You all remember my Clemson game story about the Lyft driver who recommended BBQ spots but had no information on spots. Then there was the Boston College game Lyft driver and his racist comments. Well hold on to your seats because we now have premeditated vehicular homicide Lyft driver. I have had a nagging sciatic nerve injury for weeks that I have been getting treated by Dr. Colby at AcuBalance (*check him out, it’s worth your time). It was really hurting on Saturday so I decided to park off of 3rd street and take a Lyft to the stadium to avoid the walk up Denny Crum overpass. My stepdad and I got into a Lyft that was blaring country music all dedicated to war vets and freedom (wasn’t sure that was possible). There were several individuals on the corner of 3rd and Central holding up signs in support of immigrants. Our driver, an Iraq war vet, told us “I wish I can take my car and run every single one of those a**holes over. Immigrants are not welcome here“. Yeahhhhhh, just let us out right here dude, we will walk. No tip for you and enjoy this low star rating.
- Back to the game, I was happy to see both Jaylen Smith and Seth Dawkins have big games on Saturday. Jaylen making highlight reel one handed catches will never get old and Seth has the hands of Optimus Prime so it always helps with those guys are on the field.
- Glad Puma got to see some game action even if it was just him handing off the ball. Assuming we lose Lamar after the bowl game, his is just 3 games away from being our full time starter.
- Was happy to see Dee Smith get and interception on Saturday. He was one of the players I was really pumped to watch once he signed here. Also, I am mad that we don’t have a turnover chain or anything fun here. I know it’s illegal and we would get killed by the UNC-AA but we should give out bourbon shots for every turnover. DILLY DILLY!!!!
And in closing let me just say I am not drinking the kool-aid just yet. Virginia, while improved from last year, was a team that has struggled offensively all year. I give credit to the players for sticking together despite the criticism that they have endured this season. I still think a change needs to be made at the defensive coordinator position, one game does not make up for the issues this team has faced all season on defense. There is a huge test this week when Syracuse comes to town. The Syracuse offense moves fast and it could be difficult to stop with a defense that has struggled all year. If Louisville can somehow hold them under their average on offense you have to consider that a win.
The good thing is, Syracuse could not stop Lamar last year and if that holds true again on Saturday we should be able to send the seniors and presumably Lamar out with a win in their last home game.
For now, I will enjoy the fact that we get to see our team play in a bowl game for the 8th straight year.
Be cool in this hot city
Court adjourned (bangs gavel)